Anti- Fascist

serkooool

2006-07-03T18:37:00.000+08:00

tuesday mornings will be free for the rest of the weeks left of schooling before semestral exam starts. no more practical for microbiology. no more dealing with illness-causing bacteria, yeasts and the likes of microorganisms. and school starts at 12. waahooooooooo

wednesday, no lecture!!!! 'cause there's graduation day taking place. but too bad! i have an industrial visit to attend, and we're like going to Coca-cola factory? like, AHHHHHHH

i want to go CPTC haha eh dream on

waaweeeee. i passed my Chemical Process Principles paper. like hAAAHAA my constant R is all wrong laa. see i SUCK at stochiometrical calculations and such. salah course tu sebab. i want to go Aerospace siarl. but toooot. too late

i'm like so beat lah. and i don't think i actually have any feelings for the boyfriend. ok what a bitch. but, my priorities are like, FRIENDS, FAMILY & STUDIES. plus one more, the CULTURE. haaaa 'time lambat la gila.'

Gig! i want to go to gig. skank, mosh, pogo. haiyah when when when will be the next gerek gig. no ALL SKA gig please. yeah i still like ska no doubt about it, but it's just the same bands playing the same songs over and over again and it gets pretty boring. i want a gig like last year's Toa Payoh CC gig. that's fun fun fun fun fun!

\\ EDITED
i've no slightest idea as to why i blogged like that. but perhaps it's all because of stress. STRESS GO AWAY!

ps ; i might be moving to a new blog. so just keep on checking lah yea.

screw

2006-07-01T01:01:00.000+08:00

i just realized that that Shah Iskandar is quite cute eh. hahaha the smile omg~

that aeronautical engineering skinhead is so cute =D

i've come to realize that this relationship is all but a fellany. i'm to blame, duh~

my rude self has come back alive. and even ruder than that. fought with my mom just now. i used AKU-KAU instead of the norm, ORANG. ok wtf. i cant go to the gig. and i should have known and not went out last saturday.

fuck the boyfriend.

having a boyfriend is so boring, can? i've told them, if he didn't strangle me, i'll strangle my ownself first. because he is obviously depriving me of some space for me to breathe, with who i want to hang out with. i want the old days back, hanging out with the simei people, the independent rudies, shavenheads, the tampines people, everyone. it's been only 1 week but i'm already feeling the lack of oxygen.

heh.

my past had really poisoned my impressions on men. no wonder they are from MARS.

i'm thinking of chocolates now.

sunsetter

2006-06-28T17:59:00.000+08:00

ooh. third day in school. i was late for half an hour just now. got back the computer studies ICA paper. i got a 52, plus 3 marks from the E-learning quiz. but still a D lah. damn. my microbiology marks had dropped, but it's still an A.

after that had some birthday celebration. they asked me why i was so 'sian'. basically i was just so worried about the upcoming CPPB test lah. and right, i really screwed up the paper. i could not even attempt the multiple choice questions.

good job ma-farka. i think basically all these formulas and mole calculations are just not my thing. then why the eff am i in this course anyway? haiz. i just want to work like my father. haha. it's a guys job la frankly. but i've no idea if it's chemical processing or engineering that gets to work there.

i want to get good GPA laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

oyarh, after paper, rushed to dover station and meet hafiz. HE'S BACK FROM AUSSIE babes. like omfg la the pictures on his blog is sooooooo awesome. and he went snowboarding. laughed at his video he posted on youtube. and his little sister is so CUTEEEE lah. camwhore also like the abang. hafiz bought for me some souvenirs. haha basically it's some candies and a very nice scented candle. soooooo nice ok the smell.

i think my dad knows i've got a boyfriend. 'cos i've forgotten to change my display picture ahhhhhh.

i don't know. this relationship seems soooooo wrong.

and he's shorter than amirah. height doesn't matter lah but, AHHHHHH. tah lah. amirah if you're reading this don't laugh eh. and he's shorter than azri also.

kiiimakkk. ape sia.

SCREW CPPB PAPER. i did the questions anyhow. can still sleep summore.

school?

2006-06-26T18:58:00.000+08:00

today marks the first day of term 2. as usual, i was LATE. like, really2 late. haha damn. the racist lecturer was kind of sarcastic to me. 'run also tired ah?' wtf. i got BLOCCCKED nose okay.

EVERYTHING FOR RWP I GOT A C. what the... ahh. never mind, language has never been my thing at all anyway.

but overall the whole day felt kind of lethargic. oh yahr, during break had to go to the workshop to do the practical. but the guys didn't tighten the grinder properly so the whole thing FLEW. DCHE kids were there, some are my friends. ahh, so embarassing man. then had to redo the whole thing.

ok. i think that's it?

i've been charged for abuse using the malay language. haha wtf. ok la the ones who understand Malay literally laughed till they cried lah.

and i just said, 'macam anjing.'

ARGH.

2006-06-23T13:13:00.000+08:00

our second date hahahaha

waawaawoo. eh i miss my childhood days. the days when i stayed with my aunt because my parents went onto a pilgrimage, almost each day i fought with my cousin. wrestling in fact. but i'll always end up crying hahaha.

i'm so doomed lah can? it's back to school in less than 72 hours and i still hadn't done the reports and tutorials. to make it worst i hadn't gone to the National Library to do the research i was supposed to do for Microbiology. yes, the internet is here to make life easier, but we're not really allowed to rely solely on the internet because the information stated might not be reliable. who knows who is behind the internet.

so i'm staying home and trying to complete the assignments, like a good girl should. hahaha. i'm turning down request from people who asked me to tag along and jam with them. waahoo. and i badly want to go to the gig at Youth Park today la eh. The GREAT SPY EXPERIMENT lah deh! omg omg omg. am i going to miss the fun? there should be some skanking along too, fishtank is playing as well if i'm not wrong.

wahoooooooooooooooooo.

saturday saturday. city hall here i come. i miss my wani man, she's back from Pahang i think. she's so lucky, overseas school trip. unlike what Pasir Ris Sec has to offer, a day trip to BATAM? so boooring lah. tak ada challenge.

i'm trying to adjust myself to other songs, and most probably mainstream. haha. the CLASSMATES are pissed off by my oh-so-loud songs. GAH~ support the local scene babes

reminisce

2006-06-20T22:17:00.000+08:00

i wished i could hit the rewind button and replay the whole scene once again. the serenity, the lush greenery of the park, folks doing taichee, ahh the warmth of his cute little hug.

it's time that i move on.

mom said it doesn't matter if he's short or tall, but NO BOYFRIENDS allowed for the time being. studies first lass.

if only his stomach didn't grumble, we could have spent more time time together ; that's what he said. ahhhhh.

i sense something is bothering him, and it bothers me.

Germany's match against Ecuador. go go go deutchsland. i hope Brazil gets knocked out at round 2, who knows. this year's matches brings unexpected results. ho ho ho.

the least i wish is to see an England Vs Germany's match. USoffuckingA can go and pack their bags and play BASEBALL. the yanks are such wussies.

know what, i hope next season's EPL, there'll be a Liverpool Vs Chelsea match. then we'll get to treat each other lunch if either one lost. ooooooooooooo scareh.

ahh. stalker stalker everywhere, punk or skinhead i don't care. 'cause i sense love's in the air.

ala. bosan lah. where is my little midget?

ooooh the sweetest things

2006-06-20T01:01:00.000+08:00

second date in two weeks. initially met the classmates at 1 for the IDEAS project, continued till until around 5.30 when Haikal reached OCBC building. so left them from there since i didn't bring any material for the prototype.

overall, he's the sweetest thing i've ever had.

left the lads from OCBC and proceed to someplace, which i think is near Chinatown. sat at the park. our initial plan was to play pool, but since i'm no pool player ( and i don't want to end up like Amirah, pool ball hit to another pool table ), he decided to take me elsewhere. hm, macam sweet kan tak pegi kerja tapi jumpa sahabat perjuangan dia instead. and the way he talked to his mum, alala, mummy's boy betul lah. from far he looked like a small boy who ran away from school. he used his class tshirt dated back then in 1999. WHOA

so anyway, talk cork sing song session. as time flies by, sky got darker. but stars never showed up. you know, we might be the odd ones lying on the grass mesmerizing the beauty of God's creation, but the stars NEVER showed up. not our luck i guess. in just that few hours, i got to know much about him. his secondary school life, and such.

and me being the dumb one ( weather didn't seemed fine and i didn't bring along my jacket ), my body got so cold. like HAHA padan muka zu tu lah lupa nak bawak jacket lagi.

*teringat lagu too phat ; if you cold wrap hoodie round your back* tapi dia tak berbuat sebegitu. sebaliknya, dia memberiku pelukkan yang amaaaat kuat sekali. aku berasa kekok, kerana aku jarang berbuat sedemikian kepada sesiapa. so yeah, that moment of warm hug lasted for i don't know how long but i remembered we only left around 9.30.

he admitted he's a bad kisser. ahahaha, opps. who cares? i obviously don't look like someone who cares about whether one's good at kissing or the absolute other way around.

went to this place and sapedek. i was too *shy* to ask him to buy me a meal and so i watched him ate. furthermore i wasn't really hungry, i could still feel the BK meal i had in the afternoon. he didn't finish his noodles though, macam nak abiskan, tapi malu hehehe. macam mana nak grow, makan sikit saje.

oh yahr, we were the main attraction along the streets. kalau tidak dipegang tangan, bagaikan kakak dengan adik. jika dipimpin tanganku, hmm, dah kenapa pulak lah kan. he's shorter than me. got disturbed by 3 mats on a deserted street. could see that he was slightly worried. ye ah, mat2 kan, pompan pun drg nak bagi. ahlah whatever.

waaaaaa. the sweetest things...

then got lost at Raffles place. couldn't find the MRT station. by the time it was 10.30. i had to be home by 11, he insisted that i take the cab home. but i wondered how? i didn't bring along much cash though. he willingly paid for me, and rejected the 5 bucks i wanted to give him, split cab fare lah katakan. i asked the cabbie to just drop us outside, so that Haikal could just take the bus to the MRT station and leave from there.

but NOOOOOOO he insisted to send me right to the doorstep. i was kind of worried about him too. what i heard about his father did to him, and furthermore he has his exams in a few hours time and he hasn't studied and it's already 11! so yeah, he sent me right till the lift closed and left. he took the cab home. ahhh i feel so bad. he like wasted 26bucks on just cab fare for me to tampines and back to chua chu kang seh. ahhhh

somehow i'm grateful to have him. even that EX is not like him lah okay. he actually cared sa, i'm so touched seh. he made sure i made it back home before 11, and he even made sure that i'll be safe from any matrep wrongdoings. watch out for the couple on saturday eh *winkz*

♥ Haikal Abdurrahman =)

THIS ~~was~~ IS a SKINHEAD LOVE AFFAIR

i won't give my heart to him

2006-06-18T16:45:00.000+08:00

Lock me in the dark room. I'm wondering how much i meant to him. i'm not going to put anymore trust in him even if he says he wants to try to talk and patch things out again. i'm not rooting on his sorry soft voice even if he says and insists no more sex, only spending the time left together. what, as if he's going to prison. but what do i bother? it really pains me deep to say no and tell him off for forcing me to meet him. it hurts me to tell him that i don't trust him anymore. the moments of silence over the phone just seemed too awkward for me. i don't mean to hurt him, but i had to. i had to fight for my own rights, only verbally. for my middle name isn't fighter.

i'm so sorry to tell him that. but i had to. his phonecall made me fall for him again. but i had to stay strong. i had to not fall into his trap again. i better not fall into his trap just because he's going to be away for NS in a few month's time. i had known too much of him even though, frankly, i don't know him at all. 2 years of knowing him just seemed like 2 days. i feel that i know Haikal better even though we just knew each other.

i just had to. it's all too much for me to bear but this is life. it's just not normal for me because this is more than just a break-up. i know i deserved someone better. and you nice ones reading this would obviously agree on it too. i do mind him being a dropout. but what to do since he's got a solid rock brain and doesn't even bother about what people say.

what's past has passed. that's what he say. but history repeats itself, and i ain't going to let it happen to me again. nope, i'm keeping myself this way till i get married, which is i don't know when. but i'm going to hold on to this principle. i don't care how much i love that person (if it happens anytime soon), but love doesn't have to mean giving oneself's body to the person s/he claim he loves. love is but shear lust and pain at this age.

to think back on the 9 minute conversation i had with Mister Iskandar Shah, I was stunned. stunned at my ownself. why you may ask? i actually said what has been in my heart. yeah, no more patching up. you know, my heart tells me to want him back but i can't afford to feel the pain up my hole anymore. i'm not some kind of toy to play around with. even though he's kind of pissed that i actually know what happened when he was a skinhead and that i accused him of having other girls after the breakup. with his phone line being cut off for not paying up the bills. who knows what he did during this almost 6 months of single-hood and only contacting each other like, twice.

please don't say that i look as though i don't have feelings. for i am a human being and nobody's perfect. i do feel the pain. it doesn't show through my facial expression but it's adamant through my voice.

it's hard to let him go, it's hard to try not to meet him. but he's just a permanent resident afterall. who knows, he'll go back to his own country. i'll be doomed there for obvious reasons. i pity his mum real bad, yeah she's not even my mother-in-law lah for goodness sake. i emphatise her for having such a son. and he's just 16 going on 17 la eh.

thank you mates for being such an understanding bunch. i know you guys are shocked, but what's left are painful memories. i had to tell the truth, else no one will understand. let's stand up for each of our rights and stand strong till the end. thanks for giving me the ~~force~~ will to move on and cheering me up even after being pissed off/sad because of that jerk.

he's such a jerk. a big fat jerk. no he's not fat. i will never going to go back to him, hopefully. not even if he says he has changed. he wants to be a biskot, i'll treat him like a biskot. i'm not wasting my time on a jerk who only wants to work and only care about his convenience.

tell me, if you were someone else's girlfriend, and you stay in tampines, your Significant other lives in CCK, would you always go to CCK just to meet the beloved half?

up to you.

ARGH

2006-06-16T13:58:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Up Yours! - Roots & Boots
Mood: Tired
******

i got so bored yesterday i resorted to Alamak chatroom. sucky place yup. so got to know Jo Kecik, yup yup. he happened to know iskandar. alamak, SAKIT HATIKU. why must i know his FAULTS from other people ni?! first from zacky, then bounc, then fadhil, then fadli, now jo. aiyoh, SHIT MAN. i should have just gone to the police eh that time.

eleh. haikal step mana nak replace iskandar aje. ni lah, sweet talker motherfuckers sekarang. hmm. semalam berbual dengan dia tak berhenti-henti. dah 4 kali dia kata nak tido nak tido, tapi tak tido-tido. dasyat kan. besok mungkin aku jumpe dia pat Airfan lah, jadi boleh kacau dia, pasal dia kecik.

and guess what? at night i dreamt about Iskandar lah sia! heart pain heart pain. dia cakap dia heartbroken, NOT because of me, but pasal Jina tak nak accept dia. Jina nye orang kan macam fierce, beh Jina maki2 Iskandar atas bawah macam ape. beh aku nye sial boleh beg si Iskandar ke ape ah. beh bila aku jumpe dia, dia cakap diam2 takboleh amek gambar dengan dia ke ape pasal dia tengah on the run. beh aku ckp ah, PASAL KES ***** ke ape. pasal kes dia molest budak ni ah, takan nak cakap sape kan. beh dia maki aku AMCM KAU TAU NI SEMUA?! da nampaksah guilty as fuck. beh masa dia jumpe jina, aku happen to be there. beh jina maki dia, EH ISKANDAR AKU TAK SUKA ARH BAPOK MACAM KAU!!! terus heartbroken gila sia tu anak JB.

hey PISANG, FUCK YOU!

afiq tak ikut turun city hall pasal takda duit . boohoohoo. aku nak belanja tapi malu liaw.

i miss him, can?

2006-06-14T20:24:00.000+08:00

my cbox went crazy so it's time to switch back to shoutbox.

oooohh- la- la. had very bad flu this afternoon. but i wasn't sure if it's just the smell of thinner & paint or if i had got the sickness from Afiq. but then now it's already okay, so i guess it's the paint that made my bodily system go crazy.

i miss him, can?

hopefully he goes online soon so that i'll be able to ask if he can tag along to City Hall this friday or the weekends. Ohhhh-laaaa-laaaaaaaaaa. i wanna see him dress up! huhuhu

as we parted,
we kissed each other goodbye
a day i won't regret,
and that i wouldn't lie.

what's more is that, yesterday is the 13th, and i didn't even remember anything about iskandar at all.
happy 10th Month to Fazrie & Aisyah =)

smoooooooooooochees

2006-06-13T21:24:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Keep the Faith - Roots N Boots
Mood: Smiling HAHA
******

first and foremost I'd like to apologize to Wani and her sisters, And my Cousin for not making up to them today. and for not replying to your sms-es. (busy beb)

so woke up damn early la, 8plus. imagine how many hours i slept? like, 4 hours only. was chatting on msn with a few people excluding the SMS-es that came after i logged off. bathed and just waited for afternoon to come.

met a friend opposite the church and off to Afghan, beli rokok. pastu lek2 dekat area aghan jugak ah, tapi opposite sekolah. aku nye soyal pakai baju PE shirt PRSS beh hisap rokok. aku masih minor lagi pulak tu haha. tapi nasib ah tak kene ape2.

but one thing I've learnt ; NEVER EVER CHALLENGE GUYS. thankfully nothing bad happened to me, haha. but i felt loved, just for this one day. like seriously. i never felt an inch of comfort when i was with iskandar. and iskandar is the type who just starts a simple stupid conversation and carry out with his 'you-know-what'. not the case for Afiq. the first impression of him is that he's someone who respects a girl's decision and holds onto his words. so yeap, it's true.

there have to be a limit to be 'open'. sermuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch here sermuuuuuuuuuuuuucch there sermuuuuchh everywhere. oohh-la-la. talked about life, yadda2. and yeah, hugs, never felt them before. or not that often la shall say. because i get hugs from my girlfriends too ayy. haha

but awww meee gaawdddd so much memories lah today. can't stop smoooooooooooooooooching can't we?

forgive me for the 'mushy' entry today. i've several bad lucks with the guys i was once with, and i'd say tonight's the best night i ever had so far, with someone of another gender.

and i know this entry is sooo not ZULAIHA. yup yup?

a phrase i once read from Hasinah's blog ; A KISS IS NOT A KISS WITHOUT THE TONGUE!

happy belated 19th birthday to Muhammad Afiq. =) shave your head soon aite skinhead.

BORED!!!

2006-06-11T13:46:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Youth of the Working Class - Steeltoe Solution's Cover
Mood: Bored
******

i'm against people who tells me who i should and who i should not mix with. because like obviously, his foes are not mine and why should i stay away from them when i'm not having any feud with them. i just knew them anyway.

even if who his 'enemies' are is for him to decide, i wonder why should there be hatred amongst them. macam tak masuk akal gitu kan. dia bencikan orang yang sama seperti dia, kasut but, braces berambut pendek.

ahh, this will never end.

i don't like ska-stars who only play other band's covers and is trying hard to claim their fame. up yours

this is so random, but i guess this is what i'm getting myself into when i'm bored. i keep having weird dreams. i had this dream last night where i got lost in some 'Ulu' parts of Singapore with bandits all around and they took away all my stuffs. after running here and there (sort of a misadventure), we ended up somewhere around Lakeside. but the worst part is that we had no money to take the train home and even the Boys in Blue did not want to believe our misadventure in that Ulu place with all those scary-looking bandits. it's so scary i almost cried while running away from them. that scary.

and before that dream i was hanging out with them and syawal was stucked with me for almost all of the time.

hahaha.
owh shut up.

hungry!

2006-06-11T00:55:00.000+08:00

one day one day sounds like ...

wondeh wondeh.

and wondeh wondeh sounds like...

ondeh ondeh.

and B1 are you thinking what i'm thinking?
yes i'm thinking what you're thinkkng , B2.

ONDEH ONDEH.

omg. food. eh B1 n B2 are Bananas in Pyjamas. omg, i'm getting hungrier.

ok i swear this entry is lame.

who cares if i'm dating a skinhead, or not. he broke his promise. Fcuk you eh. tak la just kidding.
ape lah aku merapek.

they said...

2006-06-10T20:48:00.000+08:00

Listening to: So Damn Hot - OK Go
Mood: Sleepy
******

they ask, ' What kind of music do you listen to?'
i said, ' Songs for the working class. (grins)'
and they went, ' What on earth are they? Rock?'
i said, ' I think so. but i doubt so too. it's Oi! Stop asking.'

at this time i think i'll just involve myself in flings hahaha. astria paham2 ajer lah eh.

SO CUTE. hahaha

so obviously i'm at home the whole day. not holding any grudges though, my bad. ahaha. still there's england's match against paraguay now on TV. the mates are watching the match either at pubs or at City Hall, judging on their ages ahaha. i missed Generation 69 today. the gig. huhu

i'm out of words to say.

cheers

doomed

2006-06-10T01:44:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Something For THe Boys - Steeltoe Solution
Mood: Tired
******

reached home around 12.15 am because i just fucking can't find a cab to get home. then at last called a cab but took some other cab that is being booked by other person. haha

so basically went to redhill and met mai. proceed to queensway to alter my jeans and eat awhile. talk2. took 100 to city hall, met mandeep and proceed to penin to take mandeep's alter bennies and supposedly to get the gig tix. well, the person had already collected the gig tix and it's going to be 15 at the door.

so didn't buy. sent mai back to city hall mrt station as she is going to meet her beloved other half and then we proceed to esplanade. fooking quiet. sat and talked awhile while waiting for them to finish jamming. then mandeep wanna meet the skinheads at river, but looking at those skinheads just makes me want to go home. haha. like seriously. but then decided to stay on.

i behaved like an anti-social basket at first lah can? even after that. kena kacau all apa lagi lah macam biasa, kata skinhead. but they are friendly lah. i honestly feel that lepak dengan dorang lagi gerek daripada with those black and white people. not to diss them, no offence to those reading this ah. pecah perut sih aku ketawa.

sudah berapa lama, aku tidak bergembira seperti hari ini. walaupun aku sampai rumah lambat, aku tidak dimarahi. tetapi aku takut akan hari keesokkannya. aku takut akan dimarahi. aku tidak dibenarkan keluar kerana aku telah melanggar peraturan di rumah ini. aku harap aku tidak akan dibantai esok hari. tetapi hari ini aku tidak minum kerana aku terlalu segan dan aku tidak mengenali mereka dengan lebih dalam.

mereka amat lah gila. candi dan pandai berjenaka walaupun mereka ada sedikit 'lame'. pecah perutku ketawa. walaupun aku tidak ketawa sekuat hati ku, perutku tetap sakit. tapi apa yang paling lucu apabila mandeep memberitahuku tentang didi AND THE TERBAKAR HOTDOG. hahahaha

that was fucking funny lahh. aku rasa kalau aku adik dia aku da geleng2 kepala malu sia ada abg mcm gitu. tapi mcm gerek siol. hahahha

ouh they make my day. i'm soooo rejuvenated already.

until next time.

[hahahah imagine kalau syawal jatuh den jerit AIYAK. hahahaha]

fate of life

2006-06-08T18:53:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Oi! & Football - Generation 69
Mood: Bored
******

holidays sucks when you've absolutely nothing to do. was supposed to go and get the gig tix today, but NOOOOO i'm too lazy to do so.

i spent my time browsing through pictures, pictures of my skinhead friends old and new. 'THAT guy' really bring me out of my chair. brought me down to tears. like really.

don't they just look so happy? if you know me well enough inside out, you'd know why i cried.

it's pathetic and useless to miss someone that ain't even share his concern towards you anymore. but wait, wait in 2 or 3 months time. i'd tell him, 'what if i said i was pregnant?'. i would loooove to see his facial expression. but like obviously, i ain't pregnant though. *touchwood*

i've cleared junk shoutouts from the tagboard. heh. why are they constantly bugging my life ? so what if i am not the old me anymore. why hide behind anonymity? i shan't deny that yeah i've changed, but whatever yah.

- i didn't know that kiss was the last goodbye kiss from you.

I WANT TO BABYSIT LAA SO BORING YOU KNOW HOLIDAY.
I want my own kid, when i turn 21. so much for the wishful thinking.

okok. i shall stop before someone asks if i'm drunk. blearhs. I'm NOT la.

2006-06-08T13:33:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Bastards - Steelies
Mood: Sleepy
******

was in KL for the past 3 days. 1st day was spent walking around MVM or what they call it Mid Valley Megamall. i didn't really shop urh. then at night, watched Poseidon. it's really scary i guess. i can't imagine if i was in their situation. it's FAR and wayy better than Titanic. and that little boy is so cute.

next day took the KTM to KL and yadda2. they were pissed i was pissed can't find the stuffs that i want so what the fuck lah eh went to petaling street and all found the stuff that i want but they're just teeshirts not polo or button down

now i'm tired
i shall update soon in proper english with fullstop heh

huhuhu

2006-06-04T00:50:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Victory To Us - Steelies
Mood: Tired
******

i just got back from City Hall. Late right? actually i reached home 1 hour before lah haha. then rest a while then bathe. and here i am infront of the lappy! haha

went out at around 4 and waited for mandeep near my house bustop. then took the bus to afghan area and took 12 to city hall. then something happened which i am NOT ALLOWED to say to anyone because it's only between me and mandeep. HA-HA. talk about life and such on the bus. well, in a way i learnt some stuffs that is not related to me but the ones around me.

then bought ciggarettes at penin and proceed to esplanade. oh daing i saw them first so can't avoid and follow mandeep. so i chilled with the rudies while mandeep chilled with the skinheads just opposite of us. i can sense hatred being let out. damn, i really pity him. but it's his way of life and the rest right? i really got no say since i'm a nobody in their scene and it applies to the skins' scene as well. but still, like EFF sia.

alot of things happened. saw that midget. then aisya skinbyrd and her friends came. yadda2. i kept quiet most of the time. i felt so bored urhs. then they wanted to eat, i didnt want to as i'm not even hungry even though i last ate a bit of mee soto in the morning. then just followed them. then came across wani at padang. then walked back to esplanade and looked around.

well, i think overall today is quite boring. i scared 2 people because i know them. mainly fatli & fadhil. saw ali telur and sharil too. ali ali.

and now, i really dont know where they have all gone. one by one going missing. even my so called 'close friend' is now no longer part of them. perhaps its due to all the 'shit' that has been happening lately.

KL trip in 1 more day ! oh damn. why must my menses come before the holiday trip. but at least that's one worry less but 1 more burden on me. haha. YEP THAT'S THE WORRY that i've been WORRYING about.

just now when i saw that whole lot of skinheads, it SOOO REMINDED me of iskandar. then suddenly i was thinking about my past with him. and that guy who looked like iskandar, i forgot his name ar. haiyahh.

reminisce those days when we were really serious.
130905 - 181205.
till now, zu still ♥ iskandar shah
that is why i still am not opened to anyone yet.

but i can't understand why they don't understand the situation i am at now. they think that they are the one for me, and that they can help me forget him, and that they'll be everything that iskandar is not. but why? you guys are getting yourselves dellusioned with the fact that you're still trying hard to get my heart and that i'll slowly open it up for you. please la ehh, we cannot be anything but friends. -.-'

worries are over!

2006-06-03T13:25:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Arsehole - Snuff
Mood: Tired
******

i'm finally free from my worries! school, personal and classmates. projects are still due though, and reports are still pending. oh damn!

well, ended school at 5 yesterday as i had my chem make up lesson for thursday. then went for skating. left at 8 and proceed to city hall. saw wani kecik, aisya skingirl, some mods and a few others. didn't expect to bump into fixxer. talk with him whilst watching the cat empire. then went and approac wani, her sisters and friend. then we lepak awhile.

i'm so happy that holidays are finally here. but next week is e-learning week. what do i care right? haha. anyway, i passed my engineering maths! that was so unexpected lah because i seriously thought that i flung the paper. but the linear law question, i got 12/25. i didn't know how i got 12 but i think she closed one eye and mark the paper. i got alot alot alot of careless mistakes ! until she put 'NO' 'Oi!' 'AIYOH!!!' and stamped a BIG FAT 'CARELESS' on my paper. hahaks!

got a 77/100 for maths. that's a B i think. well, i must work harder to get As and insyallah A+ if i'm willing to.

i think i am going to flung my computer studies because i didn't know most of the functions. that's a different whole thing seh. and i didn't do 1 page of the spreadsheet. either that or i keyed in merepek function and got errors here there and everywhere.

my classmates said that i'm hardworking. haha. i guess their first impression of me was really bad. tutorials not done, etc etc. sleep in tutorials and lectures and all. but looking at my lecture notes, all filled with color and writings and notes, they said i am hardworking. tak ke happy aku ni.

i am determined to change my studying attitude. all for the sake of my parents because the fees are expensive and i'm the only child left, and being the first so called cream of the crop in the family, i've got to prove them wrong.

and yeah. i heard that people bad mouthed about me. well, whatever. i know some people say i forget the old friends for the new friends, which is so wrong. and that my behaviour is now like a minah rep. like what the........

haish.

not my day!

2006-05-29T21:32:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Hips Don't Lie - Shakira
Mood: Tired
******

omg. i can't believe what i'm listening to now! like, NOW! i decided to blog now because if i were to blog just now, surely full of angst.

i got into a fight at tampines interchange with a bloody gook, an apek to be precise. at bus 31, got ITE guy lagi. drop my waterface sial. all because i jump queue from 67 to 31 and i accidentally bumped into that gook.

fucking old hag: cut queue ah? no manners issit?
me: sorry ar

then he ranted on and on. about how my parents sent me to school being of no benefit at all since i learn NO MANNERS AT ALL. then he complaint to the bus driver, but the driver ignored the man. because i usually take 31 and always see the same driver lah siah. then i guess he felt 'paiseh' then he threw his ez-link card at me. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?! i said eh WHATEVER LA NO NEED THROW YOUR FUCKING CARD RIGHT.

goodness. still he rant on and on in mandarin, thinking that i was stupid enough to not understand what he was saying. i could have fought back, showed what 'NO MANNERS' meant, and fought for my god damn rights because i was INNOCENT dammit. that was minor ASSAULT on his part okay!

damn. i knew he was being racist. you think i don't know? EH OBVIOUS LAH. look at me one kind, as if i was just some scums on the streets who go to school just to play around. well, two words, UP YOURS.

grr.

Report Writing Presentation : SCREWED UP.
what dad said was right, should have just continued the presentation without him. NEVER EVER let someone who is not doing his part affect our grades. it doesn't hurt to be selfish in times like these. because, if he benefits from our blood and sweat, he'll step onto our heads, right? then in the evening he messaged about how he was sorry and that he has some personal problems to handle and that he came home at 6.15am. one word: BULLCRAP.

today is so not my day.
-----------------

on a lighter note, i THINK i'm falling for someone. but i just knew him laaaa. and now he seldom comes online. omgomgomg.

oh no

2006-05-28T18:57:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Prohibition - 86 Crew
Mood: Tired
******

i'm still pretty stucked in my love fantasy with the ex-other half. the only solution is another story to tell, and not another man is really needed at this point of time. perhaps yup, i wished i had someone to love, someone not related by blood, someone for me to care for and cherish the times we have together. but i guess it's just not the time yet.

went changi beach yesterday with the family and sort of a pre-celebration for my dad's birthday. had looooong stories and aloooot to tell. from those little minor holidays we had, those hilarious events that happened, made me laugh on and on till i get tired.

i just stumbled across a Minah Tudung who were rude to her mom. fucking hell.

i wished Sundays are longer. as much as i wanted it to go as slow as possible, it's going at the pace i wanted to. because tomorrow is monday, and monday begins early but ends fuck late. and there's biology and I HAVE YET TO DO CPPB TUTORIAL. i think i'll skip tutorial. but NO!~ i don't understand a thing really. those calculations. it just reminds me of those days, those mole calculation chapters i used to hate.

urgh.

i want to sleep. -.-' but i can't.

2006-05-27T16:06:00.000+08:00

oh yeah.
some articles said it's thursday, but it's some time between thursday and friday.
Desmond Dekker died at age 64.
Rest in Peace Godfather of Ska.

i'm so bored bored bored.

IT'S SATURDAY! HAHAHA

2006-05-27T13:57:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Streets of London - ANL
Mood: Tired
******

whoa. the previous entry was full-pledged with angst eh. aha

well, I'm glad today is Saturday. Finally get to take some break off from stuffs. This week has been a hectic one. Rushing to complete project reports, practical reports, having to meet research dateline and so on. Not forgetting 2 quizzes, Engineering Mathematics and Inorganic & Organic Chemistry. Alhamdullillah, I managed to get through Chem quiz but unfortunately it didn't go as well got Math. I basically screwed math. Especially Linear Laws. 25 marks man, dammit.

I might spend today creating a new layout, i guess i'm not gerlish at all haha. plus, i'll be redoing the whole of Microbiology tutorial because i basically slept through yesterday's lecture and occasionally writing down the answers for tutorial. i feel bad for Ms Toh. i always tend to sleep during her lectures. i'm making it seem like she's boring. but well, i have to admit that her style of teaching is better than that Mdm Zulaiha though.

skipped inline skating yesterday. too tired and i get easily irritated. my body clock screwed up again. ARGH. then on the way home, met with an old friend. she had just got out from girls home. daing, girl, don't get into fights easily okay. she raped me siaaa. touch touch my tummy, i know la i'm growing babats. then she THOUGHT i used binders coz my bewbs weren't showing through. ERPS.

GSS already! but i'm going to shop in KL then if i have that spare cash, i'll shop again in Singapore!

6 MORE DAYS TO HOLIDAYS! WOOOOHOOOO. CAN'T WAIT BAYBEH.

fcuk you!

2006-05-25T20:24:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Yellow & Blue - Perkele
Mood: Pissed
******

i've got lots to say but i think i shall just stick to this topic for now. initially, i'm very furious over some 'friend' who thinks he's some sort of a somebody to me that he can tell me what to and what not to do. who the fuck does he think he is?

even if he or his girlfriend want to help me change, i'd appreciate that. but hey fucker, who the fuck are you to talk about minah tudung. what has it got to do with me changing my attitude? like obviously, your reason are one heck of a lame bullcrap. 'budak perempuan pakai tudung muka manis' ? wtf? no link AT ALL, i stress this again, absolutely no link to what changing attitude has got to do.

yeah. i've changed. i know it too. but I KNOW I'M NOT CHANGING INTO A WORST PERSON. hey fuck. you knew me when i was in sec 3, the times when i was fucking rebellious. so what with who my fucking companies are. Rudies? Skinheads? Mods? and what's with their relation with Islam man? are you trying to spread hate among them just because your so called 'islam benci ni semua?' oh did the Quran say anything about them? yes? no? and what did you say? 'abeh kau bersubahat dengan dorang?' hey what the fuck la. i could have fight back but it all will just wont end and PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE ARE THAT WAY.

yeah whatever. and stop instigating me into asking which culture i'm involved in currently. because like HONESTLY, i'm NOT EVEN A RUDIE OR SKINGIRL okay faggot. ITS MY FUCKING WAY OF LIFE AND I CHOOSE THIS WAY BECAUSE I BELIEVE I HAVE KNOWN MY LIMITS AND THERE'S SOME OTHER REASON SOME PEOPLE JUST WON'T UNDERSTAND. will never understand! and never will! I'M 17 AND I'D RATHER LIVE IT THIS WAY THEN SLACKING AT VOID DECKS CREATING A NUISANCE LIKE A BIG SLUT BOLLOCK TRYING TO SEEK ATTENTION.

and if you're raking up how fucking hard it is for you to 'take care' of me, then DON'T. i've my parents and my other so called 'CRIMINAL FRIENDS' who will be there for me. OH YEAH, I APPRECIATE YOUR EACH AND EVERY FUCKING HELP KAY FATSO. one bloody big fat bastard who thinks you're all that.

since you're so DESPERATE to want me to change into a muslimah, like since when are tudung girls in Singapore THAT RELIGIOUS? fuck them man! i never believed in wearing the scarf to school. madrasah was fucking exceptional. even so, see those full time madrasah kids, i swear i could have tell them off for their fucking behavior. and poly, just one bunch of suckers. bare their 'near-ass-flesh' even when they're wearing the tudung. LIKE WTF. BUKAK AR TUDUNG KAU SIAL.

before that, you just told me to sneak out of the house at 2 am to slack under the void deck with you. WTF. and i told you i cant because i RESPECT MY PARENTS and will never sneak out.

I WONDER IF TUDUNG GIRLS SNEAK OUT AT 2 AM AT NIGHT JUST TO BE A BITCH SLACKING AT THE VOID DECK WHERE THE DEVILS ARE SOOO ROAMING AROUND.

fucker.

went to Oi! fest

2006-05-20T22:24:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Hooligans - The Bois
Mood: Tired
******

I still hadn't had enough of Oi! even after Oi! Fest and shall continue to crave for more. You know how Oi! really gets my adrenaline rushing, yup? Well, I doubt so right? What can I do? Been hated for listening to ~~working class music~~ Oi!.

Went out around 1 to proceed to MI carnival. It was mediocre. Met alot alot of familiar faces and screamed at times. Shouted here and there for people's names. Had long talks with some of them, played some games, bought some drinks, bought a souvenir (which I lost it at Oi! Fest, DAMN), and so on. Was with Maisarah throughout almost the whole time I was there. Seems like we couldn't get enough of each other.

Proceed back to Clementi & meet Jina. Luckily I have her to accompany me to the gig. Yeap, I'm alone, no friends. THANK GOODNESS OKAY FRIEND (that's sarcasm, for you to know. neh bukan kau okay Jina haha). Took 7 and alighted somewhere after Kallang MRT station. WALKED like damn far(red light district, anyone?) till we gave up and took a cab. Even so, the cabbie didn't know where Mountbatten CC was and just stopped near Kong Hwa school. Luckily it was nearby uhs. So yeah..

Went in, Shaven Heads was playing. They said Shaven Heads is the first band to perform. Then after that was Comic Strip, The Ruction, The Sallys and then Secret Army. It's a trend that I just noticed; Most people LEAVE after the last SKA band had played. No comments about them ah. I've no say about them yea.

Secret Army played several songs uhs. I'm friggin pissed with my parents lah! ask me to be home before 8, but I got home before 9. pikir ape lah yg important sangat yg bapak aku nak cakap. skali pasal holiday sial. punye peh sort. puki siak. aku da 3 bulan sial tak gie gig. time aku gie gig je banyak songeh. tak puas arh Oi! fest macam gini.

AND FUCK. I DIDN'T GET TO CATCH THE STEELIES & THE BOIS PERFORM.

But overall, it was so so la. Wasn't as hyped as Skawerkz. But it was fun, looking at the skinheads mosh, pogo, PUKE. And where the fat guy puke, that's where they still moshed and fall at the puke area. OMG

It's been ages since I last skank/mosh/pogo. But pogo, I likeeeeeeeee.

2006-05-20T11:37:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Studying Politics - Emery
Mood: Tired
******

my ankle hurts again man! all due to skating i guess. oh yar, SKATING RAWKS MY ASS. haha. no regrets coming down yesterday even though i kind of dread going skating. so yeah, i made some friends. mostly second years as they aren't staying over for the camp, and neither do i. wooohooooo. fun fun fun. overall there's only 3 Malay girls for the freshies in skating. only syaz the only skater girl seh. yg lain inline skates. power ah syaz!

soooooooooo, today is MI carnival. can't wait to see them. i have more friends in MI then i have in SP marn. and now is already almost 6 weeks that i've been in school. i've been in MI only for 5 weeks plus and i like, made friends with everyone. NOOOOOOT really everyone lah, but ALMOSTT. ahaha. the malays especially. even though we didn't talk much, in one way or another we recognize each other. right, khai? an Orion 2 guy asked me if i was from MI. haha. so going to meet them TODAY TODAY TODAY

then after that probably meeting fixxer and go oi! fest. hais. not alot of ppl going seh

okay i'll update again later. how it all goes
okay bye u fuckers

Oi! FEST!

2006-05-17T22:30:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Bookies - POH
Mood: Sick
******

Oi! fest this Saturday. Going to come down and have a hella blast after MI carnival. Well, I doubt it's going to be a blast like the previous Skawerkz. I wonder if we'll go down to City Hall in one big bunch again. Yes? No? I doubt so.

Note to Self: Never ever get your body clock haywired. I'm currently down with flu and cough and have gotten myself 2 days leave from school. So I'm still negotiating with myself on whether I should attend school tomorrow or not. I haven't been skipping a single tutorial/lecture eversince. Perhaps because they consistently take down attendance, which I think, sucks uh. Plus tomorrow school's from 9 till 5. With a 2 hour break in between.

I'll miss IO Chem, Engineering Maths & Chem Process Principles tomorrow. So how? Revision for the test on IO Chem plus the lecturer's going to start a new chapter, like for ALL 3 modules.

Haiz. My head seems like it's going to drop off. I have tons of work to do. Shucks. Math & IO Chem test next tuesday. FUCK FUCK FUCK

URGHHH! *goes crazy*

urgh

2006-05-16T19:11:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Make Damn Sure - MBR
Mood: Tired
******

I'm proud of myself today, because I arrived to practical class early. ITM practical was oh-kay-lah. We did some agar staining and have to wait till tomorrow to obtain the bacteria culture growth. By which equates to Us having to come back to the lab tomorrow and do more practical work. We received our data sheets & ITM test results back. I got an A. Alhamdullillah. But I think that's normal perhaps? Because the first test will always be the easiest and it gets harder as time passes by. So, yeah. I hope that I'll manage to maintain that kind of grades. I'm dreaming to obtain a degree after 3 years in polytechnic. But I have to start to believe, in myself. Had lunch break after that. But something happened.

The LIFT BROKEDOWN. There were around 10 people in the lift, from my class and 1B25. The jerking of the lift really freaked me out. Like really, the worst thing on my mind was that, the string or lever mechanism would snip or breakdown or something. And the lift keeps going up and down and jerking each time and it says 'Doors Closing' but the door wasn't even opened. And the stupid lift operator says 'Lift facing a breakdown... Please remain calm'. What the hell. We kept on pressing the emergency button until finally the door opened. Damn, you should have seen my classmate's facial expression. I guess they were shocked or something. Whereby we were the ones who were supposed to appear shocked. Thank goodness it didn't turn pitch black. If it does, I'm sure I'll be the first one to cry. -.-'
----------------------------------

damn. I WISHED I am like this someone. She has a fucking wide circle of friends, have a fucking hell of a time on her birthday, with so much of her fucking friends being there for her, as a surprise. Plus, she's fucking rich and spends almost most of her weekend partying. And the worst part is, SHE'S MY AGE. ARGH. Nope, i don't want to partehh. I want to have freedom on weekends. I've never gotten a NICE, PRETTY birthday eversince I was a kid, except when i was probably 5 and when I turned 12. And that's the kiddish type of partehh and I was still a naive child. And when I was 5, i couldn't remember a thing, except that that day was printed nicely in pictorial form. And obviously, my dear brother was there too.

ARGH.
whine whine whine whine whine whine
WHAT A SORE LOSER, ME.

2006-05-14T02:26:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Voice of Anger - Perkele
Mood: Blank
******

Liverpool 3 - 3 West Ham. Liverpool won. yes!

It's 2.20 Odd and i'm still not sleeping. I predict that I won't be serious in studies just yet. I need that little extra factor to keep me awake and moving in class. And NOPE I'm no longer the jackass or scallywag or 'belo' or what-nots people used to call. I'm just the new me. At least for now.

School. Since the timetable is forever not going to stick to one timing on each and every day, mom in a way is annoying me with her neverending questions. 'NOR BESOK MASUK PUKUL BERAPA?' and she'll ask again and again so that she won't forget. Okay, I appreciate that so much. for erm, 11 years she's been the one who always wake me up. Even when I'm posted to MI, having to wake in the wee hours of morning , say, 5am.

That's not all eii. My sleeping patterns, just suck. I wished I could skip Morning Prayers but that would just infuriate the folks more. This morning , mom woke me into performing my prayers by slapping my face. Those Girl-Fights kind of slap. It hurts la ah. So I'm sleeping at different times and waking up at so odd times. And I've to wake up 2 hours before school starts. URGH.

Attended Kak Malis' wedding just now. If my brother was still here, she would have been my Sister-in-Law. Haiz. I miss you brother. And I didn't go down to City Hall. I guess I just can't be bothered with them nowadays. I don't know though. But it doesn't seem all too appropriate to list why here. But I'll come down today(Sunday), to buy some T-shirts to replenish my boring wardrobe.

Oh no. I'm always procrastinating. Tutorials not done. Data sheets left blank. Formal Report for Inorganic & Organic Chem practical. Revisions for Engineering Math. OH WHO CAN I SEEK SOLACE TO????

Monday will be having Chemical Process Practical. I hope it's what I expected. Some Challenge, heh. But sadly, there won't be one day practical off for my class as my class missed the practical due to the May Day Holidays.

Guess what my dig ins are for now? Nah, not music. But reading blogs/LJ of people with WONDERFUL English. How I wished I could write like them.

Oh, and I'm typing this way because ..
1- Laptop doesn't have Microsoft Word, have to get used to typing like this.
2- This is proper English.

x] Okay you can tell. Deprivation of sleep is driving me crap, online.

YAY/ BREAK FROM SCHOOL!!

2006-05-12T13:23:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Kasihnya Laila - Jinbara
Mood: Tired
******

didn't wake up for morning prayers. the folk got really angry. gah~

YES. IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY. AND THE WEEKENDS AHEAD. today I don't think i'll be meeting them because i'm OFF to AMK to my Uncle's house. yummeh. i hope there's chinese cuisine. WAHAHA.

tomorrow, hmm. i THINK i want to follow the folks to 400+ there. Kakak Malis wedding. like, finally i think. she is like hmm, 30 or 31 years old this year? just going to get married. with a friend of my late brother also. my family feels happy for her. because even before my brother left, she has been waiting to tie the know. but then, God loves my brother more. after 23 August 1998, she still hasn't found the courage to move on. but now, she's getting married! last time i was smaller n shorter than her. when she came to my house that time, i was taller and bigger. HAHA. omg! how time flies and how much i've grown !!!

ohh it's friday and i'm celebrating this hoooooliday. i'm so tired i could sleep for forever. how i wished there's more public hoooooolidays like this. i'm sooooooo liking it.

been ages since i last touched my Digicam. i want to snap2 pictures. any takers?

next wednesday ; WILD WILD WET! who wants to follow? hahahahahaa

sentence of the day: betul i tak mengganggu?

-.-'

loooong day

2006-05-11T23:27:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Skinhead Love Affair - Bad Manners
Mood: Tired
******

today's a friggin long day. 0900h - 1830h in school. Microbiology was oh-kay-lah. and i forgot the simplest of all stuffs. the DEFINITION OF MICROBIOLOGY. like, wtf?! okay, i do know what it is, but there's more to it than just 'study of microorganisms'. and the bacterial cell wall thing, what the eff is that? oh well, what's done is done.

reached tampines around 8plus. took 65 home. met with an old friend. haha. talked and crapped awhile. she went home then i went to coffee shop and buy food for the folks at my crib. then, saw this bunch of guys. didn't know if they were buying food or what. but they were behaving like a bunch of junks there. then when i wanted to make a move, they were like 'grl2, dulu evps eh?'

WTH. who are they man? look familiar but hmm, di mana yah? so being the nice/friendly Zu, just continued talking with them. step pekak abit, but they still layan. ya allah, tak da kerja eh budak2 ni. but then jo said out the guy's name. AP nama dia. eh, macam kenal. he is 1 year my senior, kirakan graduate 2000, tapi dia cakap dia stayback, graduate 2001. entah eh, tak nampak pulak dia pat 6/1 ke 6/2. hmm. then remembered, AHHH, the guy my 6/4 classmates used to have a crush on! oh that's so history. AP muka macam Izzad. but not as hairy ah. haha. and have better looks i think.

oh yahr. Izzad punched me this morning. wah sian. melayang sih aku tadi. in front of library lagi dia tumbuk. alaaahai.

vrrooooom vrrrooooom. i want to get a bike license soon. when i turn 18. or i want someone to bring me to school and fetch me back as well. ain't that nice. vrrrrroooom vrooooom.

i'm not a rudegirl, neither a skinbyrd. so stop asking me questions you friggin nitwit!

TIRED!!

2006-05-10T23:41:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Stay Together for the Kids - Blink182
Mood: Tired/SLeepy
*******

it's 11.40pm and i'm still not sleeping. i'm this '..' close to slumping into a state of depression. i still got microbiology to stuff into my brains.

so kenneth, weiteng, hui wen, FUCK WITH OUR RWP PROJECT! give me my 2 hour break for me to sleep!

ah. i'm burning midnight oil today. for like the first time in 3 years. the last time i burnt midnight oil was in secondary two.

he's 21, serving the nation by standing in line. haha. his voice so cute!

will he help me forget iskandar? i hope he does.

gosh.

ARGH MICROBIOLOGY IS KILLING ME.

hmmm

2006-05-10T14:44:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Lies & Hipocrisy - Gen69
Mood: Tired
******

seems like i'm too 'free' and thus the new layout. going to change the BG soon though.

3 anonymous persons trying to get to know me in less than 24 hours. who the veck has been passing my numbers around? so far i only contacted one and ignored the other 2 as i'm too 'free' to reply to stupid 'Hi, boleh kenal2?' messages. the other one, i guess that's exceptional because he called me and we talked on the phone for a while. i told him to call back but he hasn't. gosh, he must have been bored till death while talking to me just now.

Zul bukit panjang? hafiz bedok? who the veck are they man? but that guy, Zul, he sounds cute though. hahaks. please please call me back! hahaha

i still have microbiology to study. the test is tomorrow. and only 1/4 has stucked to my brain. oh gosh.

i want to screw my friends can? ada matair aje tinggalkan kawan. apa siah.

against racial discrimination & prejudice.

2006-05-08T19:04:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Monsters - MBR / Forced To Be - The Menace
Mood: Tired
******

Monday is such a drag lah. gawsh. i'm so exhausted just by limping myself here, there, everywhere. got scolded by the IOC practical teacher several times because i was fooling around. HEH. fuct.

fuck discrimination. fuck prejudice. rid racism. a motto i live by.

you know, sometimes it just feels so wrong when someone tells another person, 'don't bother asking her lah. malays here aren't good at their language. they only know how to speak English.' like what the eff?!! and I SWEAR it wasn't meant as a joke. URGH! and what's worst is that the one who said that is a lecturer! hurt my pride!

that's it! if i can't stand this any further than i'll QUIT and fucking apply for MI next year. period!

i can't wait to kick more butts at the next gig! heard there's Oi! Fest on the 20th. yup?

haiz. i realize that i've been sighing far too much nowadays. minus the bad tempers. all because of school. why the heck am i lying to myself? telling myself that school is VERY okay/fun/cool/manageable and so on and so forth. am i just living my life in denial, in hoping that a miracle would come by just like that? or am i just putting up a charade, to impress others that i'm doing fine?

i'm hangin my life on a thread, with words left unsaid and emotions left untouched. tears of exasperation gobbled down the throat leaving no traces of voice behind. memories left to fade, for no amount of reminiscence could bring back the past back to live.

not to brag but; recently many people who i met along the streets have said that i've changed. in what way, you might think? they no longer see the old me. the chaotic & frank-in-a-loud-manner Zulaiha is no longer there. perhaps i see a need to be slightly conservative. or perhaps not? different people see me in a different plight, so i will just let all of you to decide what kind of person i am.

this just sucks. as much as i hate changes and adaptations, they're both inevitable. like it or not, face it like a real (hu)-man.

i was just browsing through my Friendster first account when i stumbled across an Old friend's blog. it made me wonder. where's she now? is she already married? or is she back to her old ways and perhaps serving time in prison? i miss her crap and her trying to act decent when mom picks up her phonecall. she having confront me because i was attached with a skinhead back then. as fierce as she is, never once did she influence me to be part of them. just so you know, some 'groups' that used to 'jaga' Pasir Ris Sec back in the early days of 2000-2003.

but now, i don't even care two hoots about these people. even the friends who i used to be close to, and is now part of some bullcrap shit, i leave them and their accompany. why should i hang around with them when all they cared is their 'bullcrap dignity' when all they do is to fight amongst innocent people. ah. i'll stop as i've alreay reached the point of digression.

ah. to hell with you.

Retribution

2006-05-08T00:36:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Sick Story - Atreyu
Mood: Sleepy
******

after 2 weeks of hiding myself at home, finally i'm out. to Pasir Ris park on Saturday, and City Hall on Sunday.

City hall was a last minute thing. because i need to pay Fyza for the jackets i bought from her. but then, i clashed into Turtle's sisters, and thought of slacking with them! miss them! and the craps we always do. then Wani kecik came. proceed to Peni to buy rokok. wani's treat! like, YAY! 2 weeks never smoke. and after i smoke, i felt kind of 'high'. really! like drunkard like that. and i can't even walk straight! haha. Ain was also 'mabuk'. but she's in a way worst then me. then Jannah smoke until 'berak2' i think. chilled at waterfront for a while then i went back.

well, alkisah.

oh no! it's already Monday. Zu is classic nowadays. just finished watching 'Laksamana D o Re Mi' on TV2. but halfway the stupid channel suddenly mute, so i got bored watching dumb(literally) shows so i switched off and decided to go online. so here i am, blogging, chatting & sms-ing someone.

oh, it feels good to have a hp back. no more lateness. and i shall stop my latecoming SOON. i don't know when but, SOON. gosh, that phrase is so like Iza's phrase. and by the way, we're going Wild Wild Wet soon! perhaps next week. anyone wants to join? it doesn't hurt to give your body such nice retreat after mugging for the exams, right? initially wanted to go this Wednesday as iza has her last paper and i end school at 12. but i forgot i have my Microbiology test on Thursday!

oh gosh. wish me luck oh-kay!

and yeah. i sprained my ankle. such retribution for always stepping on Mandeep's feet while he's recovering. oh Mandeep! don't step on my feet if you're wearing your boots okay! it fucken hurts lah ah. first time that i sprained my ankle real bad. and what makes it worst is that, tomorrow's a Prac day! die die must wear shoe! covered shoe!

bless me with luck & put me to sleep.

cheers~

thankful for the life i'm having

2006-05-07T13:30:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Love Song - Blood For Blood
Mood: Tired/Stressed
******

I'm somehow thankful to the Almighty for being blessed with a family and a roof over my head. Giving me the courage to stay put in this house even though i've been shooed away, having the patience to face the parents even though it feels like going through hell. I wouldn't have to go through the hassle of looking for a landlord and spend my hard earned cash (IF i had any) just for the rentals, and having to work till the graveyard shift to support myself. I'm thankful for all these, dear Almighty.

And if HE reads this, which he most probably won't since his landlord's house doesn't have any PC, or even my cousin, well, I suggest you pluck up the courage and face reality. Go back to your house, and FAMILY.

And still, i'm thankful to have such cheerful Secondary Schoolmates as they bring a smile to my face, at least for a while.

Talking about love, it it seems too good to be true, then it probably is. Perhaps it's just not MY time yet or i'm all too fussy about looks and Inner Beauty. Oh wait, had i mentioned in other posts that I DON'T care about LOOKS but i MIND them being 'something else'? Yup?

And after months of not going through English Classes, ( not even GP period in MI ), i ADMIT that my English is getting worst. especially my vocabulary. Grammar is oh-kay lah. scored 17/20 for the Diagnostic Test. but my 'Reading Better' paper only obtained a 14/20. DAMN!

By the way, Happy 18th Birthday to my friend, Siti Aisyah.

anyway, so much for having relatives. they come to US when they're facing problems but when they're having fun, they FUCKING FORGET ABOUT US. is this what you call FAMILY? my Auntie, no comments. but my cousin, wah, still can lie.

a half truth is a whole lie.

Up Yours!

demise of a friend in my heart

2006-05-05T18:26:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Last Stand Kids - The Steelies
Mood: Tired/Sick/AFRAID
******

after school went to Yew Tee to meet the beloved Ex. who else, Iskandar lah. at first i thought he want to meet at his block, suddenly he say he at home, but the 'home' is different block. waited at the stairs, then he called me. meet him, OMG~! i MISS HIM so ~~fcuking~~ much! we had alot of patching up to do! neh, we didn't 'patch up', just catch up on stuffs. and he refused to tell me why he's living under other's roof. gaduh dengan bapak dia, haiz.

talked for a while. then i slept as i was tired. until an unexpected things happen. haiz. jina da taubat, aku pula kluar tanduk. =( now i'm very afraid. hrmm

then i didn't go for inline skating because i 'was feeling unwell'. actually i have no mood. haiz

he might be the worst skinhead ever but he's still the prince of my heart. i truly regret treating him like shit last time, now there's no more me & him. even though he's not cute or handsome in the eyes of my friends, i still love him as he is. but now things have got to change. i need somebody who would really understand who i am & not just judge me by the outside.
and i need someone who would really really accept me for who i am even though i'm living this life that is so different from my parents. i really really do.

and i NEED to forget Iskandar Shah. yesterday he called me at 2.30am. i just can't help but miss him. it's been 5 months since we broke up, and 5 months since we last met.

and, i nearly got run down by a truck.

period.

self-destruction

2006-05-04T17:18:00.000+08:00

Listening to: BFC Hooligans - Secret Army
Mood: Tired
******

school has been pretty tiring lately. i'm kind of not in the mood for skating tomorrow. but well, i want to make more friends.

and now that school has started for ITE students, the trip to and fro to school & back home can be said to be an eye-candy trip. haha, well, cuci mata lah ape lagi! hahaks

just now one ITE tamp guy asked me for my number. but i never give. 'My Mommy Told Me Not To Talk To Strangers!.' haha

haiz. i've already offended many people. all because of my hot-tempered self. are they blocking me on msn now? hmm, i hope not.

yeah, my temper really has gotten worst eversince i've started schooling at Singapore Poly. i don't know why. wanie told me this myself. i didn't realise that my hot-temperedness has indirectly hurt my own friends. in a way i think. maimai also say the same thing. and that guy who thought i was a 'nice & sweet' girl until i scolded him 'fuck off', i'm terribly sorry mate.

and it all boils down to coincidence. haishh.

favourite word of the day : 'Jgn Bedek'

tandas di sekolah. =)

2006-05-03T20:47:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Streets Of Uptown 2 - ACAB
Mood: Sleepy
******

had AIDS talk just now. hmm, gosh. *no comments*

was just browsing YouTube then came across Streets Of Uptown Vid. goshh, the song he kept singing while HE was still a skinhead.

it's been 2 months since i last go to a gig. gosh, how i miss moshing & skanking sia. and especially kicking butts in the pit when that person offends me. there's gigs every weekend la, but well, not any appeals me. like only 1 or 2 worth going for, like that buang duit right. and now most gigs are at IJ. i kind of hate that place. don't ask me why.

and, 'tandas di kawasan sekolah saya amat hancing. saya rasa ini adalah kerana kampus saya banyak sangat bangsa diorang, sebab bangsa diorang memang dasar buang air dan tidak tahu untuk mengepam tandas. tambahan pula, air kencing mereka berbau hancing semacam kerana mereka meng'consume' khinzir'.

saw an Iskandar-look-alike in MRT this morning. LOOK-A-LIKE aje. that guy is taller but walk abit slouch.

i'm so bored. and pissed. going to call my Uncle to check what's wrong with my Notebook once i get back my N3200.

cheers.

ARGH

2006-05-02T21:56:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Those Days - Hoodlum
Mood: PISSED
******

something's wrong with the connection/internet at my laptop and it sucks knowing that i have 3hour free time tomorrow. ARGH FUCK SCHOOL.

bitch.

i'll put flowers by your side.

2006-05-02T00:10:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Flowers For A Friend - Gen69
Mood: Sleepy
******

it's already 2nd May and in a few hours, i'll be off to school. and damn, tomorrow the ITE students will also be starting school and i think for those who is schooling at the other end of SG, they will be taking the train too. like my Millennia days, lots of ITE ppl in the morning. haha. and the train will be freaking packed. and in addition to that, all of the Poly has already started. but thankfully there's only SP & NP. but in between, there'll also be NYP n RP students as some of them will alight at either Raffles Place or City Hall and switch over to the North-South train.

and please, i hope there won't be MATS who smell 'nice' but to some people, the smell just pierce my senses! different people have different taste for perfumes.

i'm still figuring out how to connect to my own 2WIRE*** wireless network as it is secured. anyone knows how to solve this problem? i don't want to tap my neighbour's wireless network often lah. that's an EVIL thing to do.

oh, talk about evil. tomorrow i'll be Dr Jekyll. *evil smile*

ok go.

and i still dislike fat people.

May Day.

2006-05-01T16:02:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Hope & Victory - Perkele / Kebebasan - Rejected Scums
Mood: Sleepy
******

so Jina's favourite number is 5. hehehe. are you thinking what i'm thinking? Giving her a big number 5 on her birthday. or, buy her a ticket for the Hi-5 show. ok lame. =D

Politics. at this age, probably it all doesn't seem of any importance. but hey, by the next GE we'll be voting. *jumps in excitement* gosh, i wonder how life will be like under another political party. would Tampines be as deserted like Potong Pasir? who knows.

ok whatever.

been listening to alot of old Malay songs. hmm, right back from the nostalgic era of late P. Ramlee till the era where Mat Rockers are the rage of teenage youths back then. so yeah, credits to my Dad for the CD's he still keeps. i actually bothered to dig out the disc's from the cupboard uh. hmm, his birthday is coming soon. thought of buying a CD rack to sort of 'showcase' his collection.

and oooh. when is Mother's Day?

Loneliness
The pitter-patter of the falling rain
The hasty noise of the zinc roofs
It all seemed chaotic outside
Noisy but dark and cold
But nothing can be compared
To the silence inside

No one seems to care.

It's Monday and a public holiday. it feels so serene by sitting at home & meditating. away from the hustle & bustle from Polytechnic life. the frequent rush to another venue right smack in the middle of nowhere. occasionally stumbling into old friends, or perhaps none at all. trying to stuff information & trying to understand easy logical concepts, be it Microbiology or Inorganic & Organic Chemistry. attempting Mathematics and getting to the question with much depth than what i used to do in secondary school.

Polytechnic isn't as RELAXED as i thought. even though i don't spend my weekends doing tutorials (unlike my friends in JC, HAHA), i honestly feel that it's also a rush for time as lecturers are constantly rushing to finish their modules at a crazy rate and conducting make up lessons for lost time.

and, Everybody knows the score now.

weekend is here!

2006-04-29T18:38:00.000+08:00

Listening to: We, Adelphi / Oi! & Football / Rabble Rouser- Gen69
Mood: Sick
******

i'm constantly sneezing.

oooh. 30 April tomorrow.

30 April = No more student Fare. ezlink expired

HAISHH.

monday Labor day. no school! *jumps in joy*.

ERS baybeh.

money money.

i want to get a new pair of skates. but the problem is money. !

made up my mind. joined SP Skates Club. but won't be going for the camp though. for obvious reasons. got slightly pissed then went to my room & printed out the set of tutorial questions for microbiology. like , WTF was i thinking?

took a peep at Aidil's friendster. sheesh. ermmm, forget it.

anyway, blog still under construction. if it's laggy, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAG AT MY BOARD! so that i can switch back to the old layout.

it's Saturday and i'm at home. many people ask, TAK TURUN CITY HALL???

tell me where can i go with just 20cents left in my card?

sheesh.

i've saved $40. $70 more to go! and i can get my dream jacket/a couple of tshirts/adidas bag.

i want that lonsdale long sleeve!

and the story stays the same.

I HATE DCP1B25

2006-04-27T19:54:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Lights & Sounds - Yellowcard
Mood: Sick
******

and ... i shall STOP ranting on about guys & especially the ex 'other half'. school was FINE, i think. for the first time in 2 weeks, i'm early for school!

. Think Happy Thoughts \\ sometimes antisocial says:
anyway, do u also write..
TINTINDEO says:
yea
. Think Happy Thoughts \\ sometimes antisocial says:
like.this.with.full.stops.instead.of.spacebar?
TINTINDEO says:
around.80.words.i.guess?
TINTINDEO says:
siak!!!!!!!!!
TINTINDEO says:
i.type.this.because.spacebar.rosak.ade.faham

haha. i should really stop getting on people's nerves! i think dad has given me the permission to join skates, as long as erm i don't concentrate more on guys. but 50 bucks. deck. alahai. i just want inline skates can? herm. oh and there goes guitarists club.

VOTE PAP. ok ar ok ar. what a noise. i see PAP banners everywhere but not of SDP's. and i accidentally knocked into this SDP representative holding some brochures at Tampines Interchange and the whole stack of brochures fell out of his hand. i didn't realise that happened until people around me started staring at me in slight anger or disgust. oh sheeeeeeesh.

and i've just applied for tertiary ez-link. damn. have to use adult fare from next week onwards. should have just gone to TP eh perhaps. but TP, just ONE thing. i hate the food there. period.

today i spent like almost $8 on MacD meals. and we sneaked in EVM meals into classroom during lecture. and i almost cried because they were being so racist towards me. haiz. the ~~pros~~ & cons of being the only Malay student in class. it sucks having to be the only minority in class. yes it really does. it pains me real deep to see them laughing with their own stories while i walk down the corridor alone, occasionally bumping into old classmates/camp mates/Millennian friends.

yeah. i look 'kuai' when i'm quiet. and yes, that's the 'new' Zulaiha now, at least in school. haiz. the surrounding atmosphere is so different, so COLD, so uncouth.

I FEEL SO BONGOK IN SCHOOL LAH.

skate or tkd?

2006-04-25T21:58:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Sing D Jamaica - Sallys
Mood: Tired
******

some skate club guy called. oh my gawsh he so sound like ISKANDAR, but the voice makes me melt more. HAHA dream on okay zu. so, briefing on friday, 6 pm. but the turn off? having to pay 50 bucks. mana nak korek sol. BEEN AGES SINCE I LAST SKATE LA AH! okay not. i quit skating when i first started skating. heh.

sakit la siah jatuh. serik. haha

and please lah. my name is NURZULAIHA. not Nurzulaiha or Nurulaina or Nurulaiha or whatever combinations that you all can think of.

i'm in the big black book already. i didn't do IOC tutorial. sucks to the fucking core. and i'm currently doing limits. differentiation topic lah deh. and 1b26 is heck irritating. sheesh.

actually, i've no idea what to blog. oh, should i take skating or taekwondo? as SPNCC is some sort of a monthly thing, i dislike the idea of going to campus just to study & have no fun. so like it or not, take up a CCA. but what CCA? they all start like from 6 onwards and won't end until 8 or 9. and as you know ( if you don't, then you probably do now ), i have a very weird Dad. this cannot that cannot. play internet cannot go out cannot. then what is 'CAN'?

haiz. i think 'CAN' is to PRAY 24/7 lah sia. knnbccb. then might as well from primary one send me to the fucking full time religious school right. make his life happy & mine, miserable. why eh, people always think that malay kids coming from that sort of school are very 'ALIM' sort? eh siallah. just now on MRT the girl was kind of dancing lah siah. okay no offence to the ladies wearing hijab or is under the nose of the ----. okay whatever lah zu

eh Jina siao! where got jiwa skinhead. hahahahahahahahaha.

and i miss ISKANDAR SHAH TO THE MAX.

monday blues

2006-04-24T20:44:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Rabble Rouser - Gen69
Mood: Hyped
******

i'm constantly arriving to class late every morning. well, this morning, i went to the wrong block & wrong floor. so, herm, no comments.

IOC practical just now. 3/4 of the class was late because they went all the way to the Biz Block just to register for the english workshop thing. they registered my name for me as daryl & i went outside to smoke. yeh, free ciggarettes again.

i thought Dr. Lim was a strict lecturer. but perhaps he doesn't like the idea of us coming to practical late. he cited that this is the first time he experienced first year students coming to class that late and at our first practical. and he even added that our discipline is very bad. *i held my head low* but then halfway through the practical, i found myself laughing non-stop. wahoooheehaha.

in two weeks time i'll be having microbiology quiz. actually a better term would be test. gosh. not forgetting 4 hours of lecture this friday and probably next as my class & 1b25 will miss both lecture & tutorial on labor day & vesak day. *slaps forehead*

biology just bore me to the core. YEAOWS! i hope i'll do just fine in IOC & CPPB. and engineering maths too.

Dr Lim asked how come i'm the only malay student in class. so, is that a good or a bad thing?

WHY?!

2006-04-23T12:20:00.000+08:00

Listening to: I Cant Believe It's True - The Official
Mood: Tired
******

i remembered the theme of this layout. damn. just fucking remembered why i put some phrase from The Official's song. yeah We are FALLING it's NOT THE SAME ANYMORE. not the same, never going to be the same.

the happiest moments have to be 18th February & 4th March ; and that date was when we all last hang around together. when we used to be chaotic & never fail to get scolded by the friggin security, now we are all reduced to silence. where one of them is gone because of his girlfriend, few more gone because of 2 fucking firestarters, and leave us with 4 members left.

Those Days Are Over. I'm Telling No Lie.

fuck. tomorrow school. and i still haven't got a labcoat for the practical. haiz. why do i suddenly think about the past ? shit man. i can't help but blame myself. ah biar lah. ikan bukan seekor, kawan bukan seorang. and i feel that i should STOP being TOO NICE to guys. dah 2 orang ni aku stucked at. HOW SIAL? sheesh.

oh yay! WALK ON LIVERPOOL! liverpool 2 - 1 chelsea. i feel rafa should sell cisse and crouch away. liverpool die hard since 96! hahahahahahahaha

saturday

2006-04-22T23:16:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Skinhead - Gen69
Mood: Tired
******

haven't updated for few days. why? i deleted the cookies and all, i mean ALL accounts are gone. as in the passwords. as i'm the only one using the PC, i don't really log out of my accounts. be it friendster, blogger, myspace, and so on.

even if i have the password, i don't really have time to update. heh. busy la beb. so school is tiring and boring. i don't really have friends within the same course, but i hope things will get better.

so today, saturday. SO LAZY TO GO OUT. but parents want to go nenek house. so just follow. went rivervale mall to buy food for the people at home. then reach nenek house, talk2 uh. then eat the mee soto. YUMMY I LIKE! then watched BP Cilok. very funny story. then talk2 again then went home. my parents headed home whilst i waited for iza at 938.

then went city hall, with IZA my MAID! hahaha. slack bodow. the way i wear, HAH so not me!!! went to esplanade to meet fyza and take my jacket that i buy from her. fyza so pweety! then saw luqman & ash & alim & roti. then took lift to rooftop. saw brown & some mods & rudies. then walk2, carik nazeer. they all say nazeer pat bawah. alahai. saw wani, jannah, hafiz & kama. then hug2 wani. then i went down. meet nazeer & mandeep. then proceed marina square to look for my digicam casing as Iza lost it yesterday. HAIZ.

then i cannot tahan my bladder already. walked to near guardian as there's toilet there. but iza wanted to go to level 2, so just follow. then saw 2 guys with yellow laces. one of them like familiar. then i thought , 'ah buat bodoh lah'. then i remembered, anip! then sms-ed him and asked if he's at marina & wearing merc jacket. and jackpot! hit it. so after went to the toilet at second floor, went back down & tegur-ed him. talk2 awhile. then the rest of the 'forum bootboys' came. wahaha. then since they're going outside, walked with them as well as i'll be heading home. talk talk talk

and guess what? Iza already scared! haha. kept pulling my hand as if asking me to go another direction. and when i asked her if she was scared, she shook her head. padahal muka da panic gila. then buat muka selamba and ask anip for cigg. hehe. if you're reading this, THANK YOU SO MUCH ! hahahahaha. tah asal aku happy sia dapat isap rokok. 5 days never smoke because i was too 'busy' to smoke. okay lah, i don't smoke on schooling days. then one part i forget, iza laugh. cheh...~

then parted from them. hmm, perhaps i'm looking forward to other saturdays to lepak with them? like really really. sape them? anip all ah. hahahahhaha

who cares what other people want to say?
do i even care if SOME people tell me not to be close with them?
well, i don't give a damn. sorry to say this though, if THAT someone is reading this.
ape aku merepek seh?
aku rasa jina tau. hahahaha..

walk back to mrt station. then someone 'swtswt' me. but i didn't turned. then someone called my name. ingat kan sapa. sekali badot. da lama tak nampak dia seh. salam him & said bye. and saw miza also. first time i saw lots of ppl tat i know. i think. then took train. in the train, kimak, got this girl uh. scared me & iza sia. SHEESH. i don't know how to put it in words. but she did some dirty dancing in the train. hahahaha. and i told iza...

'the breast like bigger than mine sia. .' and iza laughed. hahaha

reached tampines. as usual, took 292 as we are lazy to cross the overhead bridge. IZA WE FORGOT TO DO YOUR STUPID DANCE AT 938~ !!! see la talk about grls kene molest by blacks ard our area again. siallah takot sia. da la skg pat block aku byk bangla. jiran aku pun company sewa rumah tu utk bangla tinggal. imagine, betapa busuk nye rumah dorang. dalah kotor. ISH ISH.!

oh kesian maisarah. takpe, lain kali aku ajak kau gie gig, tapi gig CC lah. kalau tempat2 kecik aku malas nak go.

ah shit. masih ada math hw. cibai ah. asal sia aku masuk poly. LECEH! rela masuk JC sia. sheesh. nvm ar , da nasib.

flag day

2006-04-13T14:03:00.000+08:00

Listenint to: MIA - a7x
Mood: Sick
******

didn't wake up for morning prayers today, thus i had slept for 11 hours, and woke up only to feel sick. i doubt i'll be going city hall & bugis today.

so yesterday, i had my flag day. was assigned to pick up donations at bedok. i was the only malay among all the rest of the chinese. because, as i walked on and on alone, i didn't come across even a single Malay SP student. so yeah.

sat alone for like one hour outside giant there. heh. but fun ah. in and out of 7-11 buy food & drinks and emo-ing alone. reminiscing on the past i had with Iskandar Shah, with my lovely Lass, & my mates at esplanade. it only seem like yesterday....

so around 12 proceed to city hall with my new friends, 3 chinese 1 malay. haha. i was with erm, shuling? limin and hao guang. went to suntec city and ate at kopitiam. the mee soto damn nice! yummy. going to go there maybe this saturday and eat the mee soto again. haha.

then proceed back to SP. i asked if they wanna walk in the hot sun or inside. they said inside, so yadda2 i led them the way. they were scared that the got lost. until halfway they said AIYAH SUD HAVE WALKED OUTSIDE, FASTER! haha. then at last got to T1A. but at the wrong side. thank goodness there's the lift & there's so called connection to the other part of T1A. daing. haha. malu sia. and i made a new friend from DCP 1A01. he's a malay. i forgot his name. haha

then inside the room, counted the funds. i only collected $27. haha! actually its $26.70 but i added 30cents.

so yadda2. went home, go bedok, buy durian, buy kropok lekor, MY FAVOURITE. then home sweet home.

please make me feel loved at DCP 1B25.

SPSSC CAMP RAWKS !!!

2006-04-09T22:54:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Locked Up - The Ruction
Mood: Tired
******

i'm back from SPSSC camp! i know people out there are missing me. lol.

day 1
woke up & made my way to dover. met khairul and proceed. i was late uh. plus i felt so lost as i didn't know anyone else there. saw raziman. so, yah. then went to poly centre where we played the Pokki game. then we played 'squirrel'. after the forfeits, we were sorted out to our own individual groups. sadly to say, my group only has 3 malays. 1 girl, that is me, and the other 2 guys. and furthermore, they are not handsome. wan is weird and that hidayat is just pure irritating la ah. and the others in the group are those 'berisi' type. they don't look sporting at all. there goes my enthusiasm already.

after that went to bunks and placed the bags. the dorm is at the classrooms at the business building, level 6. so far and nak naik tangga also half TOING already. after that had this game. had to go and run around SP and complete the task and do cheers. all the normal stuffs uh. after dinner had this candle telematch thing. had to burn our opponent's rafia string. after that had 'final destination' game. the objective of the game is to say out the phrase correctly & the correct agent will sign your forms. if you got the wrong agent and proceed on with the conversation, they will send you to 'prison'. went to 'prison' twice. first must run ard 40m - 50m in 10s. can do it no problem! haha. second time, need to eat bread that is soaked in ice lemon tea. very disgusting!!!! i think that is it. after that bathe. sleep. cant sleep because it was damn cold and i miss home. very cold that i feel like going home. i actually cried lah when i was tossing & turning. freaking cold liao.

2nd Day
woke up late. tak mandi. EEEE busyuk! haha. washed face brushed teeth change shirt & short and proceed to foodcourt 5. had breakfast and after that had more exploring SP games. it's getting fun actually. but the enthusiasm level is still low. after that went back to bunk & changed into wet wear attire. then slack & had lunch. WATER GAMES after lunch! and the most fun part was the water polo. it was the first time that i tried the canoe thingy. and had to challenge the MOFOS. hate them lah. they are very rough to chase their victory. moreover, they are all FIT & sporting. after that had captains' ball in the water. we lost ah. tengok ah group aku mcm mana sol. i swapped with Eugene 'cause i can't stand with the lydia-sum-lookalike. haha! after that went back to bunk & changed into dry clothes plus cleaned myself a bit as they don't allow to bathe yet. had dinner. after that had this egg game. must wrap the egg with straw such that bila campak, telur tu tak pecah. get it? so yah. had our own strategies & i came up with what i learnt from physics in sec. sch. then we applied what we know and make the best shock absober ever. hahha. shaun threw our egg & it never broke!!! the egg was thrown for 3 or 4 times. and still it never broke. after that gathered at foodcourt 5. cause had nite walk after that. shaun told some 'ghost stories' to scare us before the night walk. at first i felt scared, then suddenly the guy beside me talked to me. i thought he chinese, skali melayu lah. yay! at least ada kawan to talk to. hehehe.
then time for nigt walk. i was wishing i am chosen to be in the same team with that guy. but ended up i'm with the lydia sum gal. i scream 3 times because 2 times i was walking in front and i was SHOCKED. the second time was because suddenly someone ran into me. siollah. then before i knew it, it was over. i thought the night walk really end for 2 hours. but ended up it was less. so gathered in between the biz block. then saw the guy who talked to me before. so just talked to him. then he asked me to sit beside him.

aku duduk jauh dari dia. tapi dia suro duduk dekat2 pasal tempat tu ada semut. alala, sweet sia dia. then dah tu berbual pasal night walk tadi. pastu aku tanya lah, nama dia ape. skali badrul rupanya. 'R' dia karat seh. haha tapi takpe, pada aku lelaki yg R karat byk cute2. hahahaha. then berbual mcm biasa. masa nak tunggu lain grp sampai, baring2 jap tengah2 road situ. tapi macam memorable ah. dah tu, team semua da sampai, kene balek bunk. alah, mcm tak puas gitu bobal dgn dia. pastu jalan dgn dia balek bunk. masih boleh jugak bebual. kita plan, lepas nite walk tak payah mandi, terus tido, pasal penat because main water games. so yeah, then pagi esok baru mandi. HAHAKS!

Day 3
bangun lambat sol. den kejut hanis macam nak rak dia golek2 tapi tak bangun2. end up aku give up beh sheryl kejut dia aru angun. rushed to sportshall nye toilet. da lambat sol. so, since dah lambat, lambat kan aje lah. dilly dally back to fc5 and then they were already starting to eat their breakfast! but nevermind, bread only. and day 3 is quite relax because we had to plan and rehearse for the skit later on at night. i was made to be the 'Yun Nam Hair Care' model. tapi the sadako style. and i had to have armpit hair, bushy2 pulak tu. haha. malu siak. then in between ada telematch. have to eat watermelon, play red alert, then the couple telematch thingy. during red alert, i purposely made myself to fall as i don't want my flag to be taken and since i'm a girl, guys can't take advantage of me when i fell. but the MOFO guys really grabbed my flag when i fell. so yah. i was pissed siak, my group don't like to gamble their flag. alamak~ so nvm.

after all that, time for the skit. most of the groups did on homosexuality/bisexuals or on sex. but funny ah. the best group was group 2 i think, or was it the MOFOs? tah ah. after that SHIM night. nak tau asal SHIM, pasal SHE + HIM = SHIM. so basicall had to dress a guy as a girl and then the guy have to parade. so john is our victim. our group was the most horrendous shim lah eh. then the breast[balloon] satu besar satu kecik, bola bawah yg kita buatkan pun sama siak. malu siol! ahahahaha. tapi dia yg malu, bukan kita. after SHIM nighte, had Mambo Swing or something. soo, yah. at first i don't want to go into the 'dancefloor' because i don't club & i don't know how to dance. then happened to be that Badrul was beside me. then we bobal jap. then after that Bad tarik me. ok2la, masuk jek. aku masuk je, lagu reggaeton. den lagu rock. mcm, tah ah. kekok ah. then after that, sadly it ended. but being US, we demand for more disco night. so just groove along, until one part the setan rammed inside, kena grind. kimak ah sakit siak bontot aku. then i go out. then after that i dance with the 'SHIM' . kekok ah sial. k ah ape2. then all the way i behind. then after that Bad & Khamish[smth like that] pulled me into the centre. almost kene angkat naik table and dance. but i didn't.

then at 3, tired already. went back to bunk with badrul & kamis. kamis asked why i didn't dance. i kept quiet only, but badrul answered for me. ahaks. then otw back, we talked about ACAB, music & our sec sch life. we walk damn slow. then decided to take the lift as we were very the pemalas. hahaha. then mandi!!! i asked badrul to wait for me as hanis already NGOROK! haha ish. so walked to the toilet. i thought they were going to fc5 toilet, skali ada toilet yg dekat dah. aiseh, buang energy sol gi toilet jauh2 the past 2 days. i thought i'm gg to be alone, but there were other grls. i was the last one to mandi, beh dah guruh. naseb lom start ujan. rushed & pkai sluar n baju tapi tk sempat pakai bra coztakot drg tinggal kan aku. aku keluar aje, naseb bad ada. he nearly walked away coz he tot aku da jalan. then the rest walked dulu. drg jalan laju sia. then tinggal aku dgn bad aje jalan relek2 pat blakang. then naik lift again. tak jadi cabut go clementi to eat pasal da penat gila. so just tido after mandi.

in the bunk, elicia very irritating! hahahahaha. but she's cute though. she's sporty too. we both can't stand lydia sum! hahak. why i said elicia was irritating was because she kept saying gd night but nv sleep. asek menyampuk org bobal aje. hahaha. then i talked to Shi Hui & Sheryl. freidnly peeps. too bad not same course.

Day 4
can'tsleep properlyas theaircon was daing freaking cold. kept waking up and adjusted the temperture until last2 dah giveup and turned off the aircon & switched on the fan. haha. Shi Hui got locked out of the door by some guys n they had to play some stupid games until 7 am. pity them even when shaun woke us up personally,they didn't wanna wake up. i also woke up late ah. tak sempat mandi ! went to toilet just wipe myself with wet tissue, gosok gigi & went to fc5. otw meet bad lagi. then jalan dgn dia lagi.

after breakfast, dapat tido lagi kejap. then got our camp tshirt. nice sak. then briefing pasal the Orchard Road Scavenger hunt. aku tol2 da malas uh, penat gila. dah tu, naik bus gi orchard, we keep on going to far eastbut the clue isn'tthere. ape punya nasib. hahaha. until we gave up njust have our lunch at LJS then took the bus to heereen as it's at the other corner of Orchard n we gave up looking for the place. so yeahhh. had to do forfeits outside the stretch of heereen. just cheer ah. lepastu, KENE PATAH BALEK FAR EAST LAGI!!! buy the fried mars bars and proceed back to SP. alaaahai. there, we had to do alot alot of forfeits. had to do hookey-pookie & the pole dance whilst Yu had to do the mole thing outside 77th street. Mona 38 was also there and they had to do the i don't know what it's called ah. hahaks

then proceed to bustop to go back to SP. slept in the bus for a while. then sat at fc5 as 4 teams weren't back yet. duduk sblah bad lagi hahaha. den went back to bunk to get out bags and stuffs. beli air. haus! haaha dah tu duduk lagi.tido jap. then yadda2 ah. pastu gila2 balek. dah freshen up. dad called, he wasn't too happy that i was still in SP and shouting masa maghrib. then prize presentation. best sportsguy/gal, best grp, & best LOOK-A-Like. tahu sape! RONALDINHO lah sia. haha. aku lupa ah nama bdk tu. tpi dia DCP gak.

then dahtu, home sweet home. balek dgn badrul & hidayat. how i wished bad tgl boon lay & hidayat tgl jrg east instead so that i have more time to spend dgn bad. haha, selfish eh zu. so yah, all good things must come to an end.

and i'm so happy to have a friend like badrul. he's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE. i'm feeling like i'm having a crush on him. tapi, boleh dapat ke? he digital media uh. haishhhh. oh yah, he dont know my number yet, gg to sms him tmr i think. so yeah. and we put our names and will be joining sports club. hell yeah! so i'm not going to lose contact with him...

I MISS TALKING TO HIM
I MISS LYING ON THE CARPARK BESIDE HIM
I MISS DANCING BESIDE HIM
I MISS HUGGING HIM WHEN GROOVING ALONG
I MISS WALKING BACK TO THE BUNK WITH HIM
I MISS WALKING ALONG THE DARK ROAD WITH HIM
I MISS WALKING UP THE STAIRS WITH HIM
I MISS WISHING EACH OTHER GOOD NIGHT
I MISS HIS KARAT 'R'
I MISS EVERY SINGLE PART OF HIM.
OUH BADRUL................

2006-04-06T00:11:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Oi! in Our Blood - Hoodlum
Mood: Restless
******

i don't feel like going to the SPSSC camp tomorrow. mom will be alone at home as dad is having his afternoon shift. well, i hope they don't take away handphones as i would love to call my mom at night, like how she kept miss calling me when i was having my Student Leader camp in secondary three! [yeh, i WAS a student leader, don't laugh!]

i just realised ; that , my way of expressing my love for my parents; is to wish them lots and lots of good night and flying kisses.

i don't do that to my ex-boyfriends; perhaps the only guy i keep on saying the word 'I Love You' was Iskandar. honestly.. haighs. i really miss him, even though shit happened. it would be our un-official 7th Month soon, but as if he got the time for me now. haighz. i really wished i hadn't known hafiz as memories of him just pains me as he don't fucking care about his future. okay, perhaps this applies to iskandar too.

the problem in loving someone is; i'm not serious. because i still love HIM.

damn.

oh, and i'm a jackarse for today. damn fricken jackass.

Bedok.

2006-04-05T19:12:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Locked Up - The Ruction
Mood: Sleepy
******

okay. i swear i take back my words yesterday. sheesh, bad bad stomach. you make me go *(^&^$$@ mad.

SPSSC camp is tomorrow. and i have everything except a decent bagpack & sleeping bag. sleeping bag can be substituted with 2 piece of jacket that i'm going to bring. just that space is so limited if i'm going to bring my converse sling bag. well, i don't want to go home bringing pieces of clothing just like that on the train. =p

wah. i'm so fikiran.

by the way, just now went to bedok to go NTUC with my mom. like finally. before that ate at the food centre opposite the interchange. ate 'nasi ayam sambal' while my mom only ate some kuih as she wasn't really hungry. the nasi ayam was nice! 9/10 on that.

gosh, bedok is a minah infested area, and i just realised that. and well, i came across some new Pasir Ris Sec kids. and some of the secondary Twos. wah, stared at me like want to eat like that. dah lah uniform kental. the kids born in 1990 was the last batch to use the uniform from the old supplier. the uniform by the new supplier just sucks! it's like THICK and WARM and the needlework just give that kental look. and the color is so GREEN! eeeeee. and furthermore their skirts were fucking SHORT! gosh! i wished the sec 4s & 5s were those gangster type. during my time, if you're skirt was short, they surely give us one good bashing. and that's why during 2001-2003 the lower secondary kids don't dare to act big. now give them face they give us shit! hate them man! i still won't let that group of minahs off !

so after eating, went to NTUC and bought our stuffs. mom used the voucher that my dad got from his workplace. i hope my dad get the voucher that can be used at Tampines Mall again! so can shop for free again! but then i still want that merc jacket and the long sleeved merc polo t-shirt. i told my mom the price of the jacket and she was like, 'WHAT?!'. ahaha. guess i'm saving up for that dream jacket of mine.

okay now i'm at home. later going to tampines central to get myself a new cap as my old cap has faded away.

sheesh. mak da bising. going out already ; cheers.

2006-04-04T18:16:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Ruction Marching In - The Ruction
Mood: BORED
******

i hate my current life now. it's just so freaking boring. and with my mum being a constant lazy asshole just because of the rain, and with hunger pangs striking me every hour but there's no food in the kitchen, just making my life a constant horror.

ARGH
FUCKING PISSED
CIBAI
I SUCK LA I SUCK LA GETTIT
ARGH ZULAIHA FUCK YOU MARN
ARGHHHH
AKU NAK KELUAR LAH SIAL
AKU LAPAR
CIBAI CIBAI CIBAI
ARGHHHH

NI AH HIDUP ANAK SORANG. NAK BOBAL PON NAK BOBAL DENGAN SAPE. BOBAL DENGAN TEMBOK.
BOSAN BOSAN BOSAN

still remember . . .

2006-04-03T13:59:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Those Days - Hoodlum
Mood: Sleepy
******

i'm still suffering from fatigue, perhaps due to the VERY late night on saturday/sunday. i just can't seem to sleep that night. yah, I hated him so much for that shit talking and putting me and my other mates in trouble, but looking at him being slapped and punched in the face, i seem to sympathise him. but even Dzul agreed that he DOESN'T DESERVE OUR SYMPATHY.

This song, Those Days, reminded me of the previous weeks we had together. yep, i'm new to all this because i didn't get much freedom during the secondary school days. even though i'm already into the scene for like 2 years plus, i'm still the same old me, minus the hot tempered.

those days we sat together and had our fair share of problems, now seemed to fade away. because of one faggot, other people misjudged us and treat us like as if we don't existed. they see us but pretend not to see us. that's how INFLUENCED the simei people are.

but i'm not generalizing though. they put the blame on us about the things we never do. hey rudeboy, where's your fucking unity? garh, all those unity talk and now you're backstabbing each other. tsk tsk.

all those saturday nights will just remain as memories. they still haunt me, like NOT.

i'm all messed up inside. i don't even know how to express it. i can't stand strong even though friends come & go. i don't mind if the friends who went are just 'Hi - Bye' kind. but those who go are those whom you used to have a laugh & having a say. plus, i'm not the kind who makes friend easily. ANTI-SOCIAL lah katakan.

it's over anyway. but still, those who were there, really felt the pain. ask me to explain everything, i won't be able to do so. to Wani & Amad, don't worry about me mate. please don't regret that you weren't there for me that day. as long as we stand strong and help each other, you lads will still be my best mates.

fikiran ku bercelaru, hati ku tidak tenteram.

eh what was i thinking sia? hahaha

going town on wednesday. waaweewoo. siapa nak join? sila telepon 12345678.

p/s : i still don't know how to spell telephone in malay, since primary 5. wAHAHAHA.

Shit talkers

2006-04-02T13:52:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Danny Stalker - Ruction / Skinhead Anthem - Secret Army
Mood: Tired
******

it's funny how things can go absolutely right at one time, and suddenly the wind blew against us and everything had gone awry, in just a spur of a moment.

like obviously, as said by Dzul, this is, an April Fool's Day to be remembered ; ALWAYS.

but a note of precaution ; nothing funny actually happened on saturday. no jokes, no pranks, just pure bullcrap.

i've never been this pissed with people before. i used to be very pissed with all the stress and homeworks and having to catch up in chemistry & biology, but obviously not with people. call me a first timer in this shit, i don't care. i could have just slapped his face, but i ended up kicking some innocent friend of mine. sorry mate.

and yah. i cried out of frustration. i just couldn't talk properly because the anger is raging inside like a forest fire. adding on to the problem, it's already late. passed my curfew time, and i was still at city hall.

trouble on the ~~terraces~~ rooftop.

and with me & Dzul constantly blaming ourselves for the shit that had happened. and nothing is going to be better after this. problems keep on evolving. shit keep on arising.

argh

everything had happened. will only remain as memories that i wouldn't even want to remember.

shit talkers ;
UP YOURS.

2006-04-01T00:28:00.000+08:00

Listening to: The Kids Dress Up - The Skinflicks
Mood: Tired
******

school's reopening soon and this is when i can start to go out MORE OFTEN. it sounds stupid though.

anyway, some last minute shit cropped up and thus i won't be able to attend the chalet at downtown east. haiz. i so miss the secondary school lass.

memories start pouring in again. and i'm so missing mister iskandar. to think back, i regret those shits that i gave him. but from what i know, perhaps i shouldn't even bother. 2005 ; i wonder who he was with when he got beaten up. oh phuck.

am in the mood for love. ooooooooooooooh.
but , who the phuck wants me.
no, i don't want mister 'in-a-culture'.
no, i don't want mister skinhead.
or rudeboy. or worst still, punk.

haishh.
once bitten twice shy.
but iskandar?
thrice bitten, now regrets all that's left.
haiishh

STUCKED

2006-03-27T08:04:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Bookies - P.O.H
Mood: Sleepy
******

okay. so it's 8 am and i'm not awake but neither am i sleeping. afraid that i'll oversleep later for enrolment.

yesterday went out with parents. once in a while heh. i think this is like the first time in 2006. bought 2 jeans and err 3 shirt. omg i really am lucky lah this time. haha. first time bought expensive jeans in SG.

spoilt brat. now shut up.

HAPPY but BORING day.

2006-03-25T22:18:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Det Var Da - Perkele
Mood: Bored / Happy
******

my n6111 can charge. at last! alhamdullillah.

and i'm so HAPPY but bored today.
proceed to city hall last minute. was so bored. but told parents that i 'keluar sekejap'. went out around 5.40 and reached city hall ard 6.10. macam sekejap gitu.

and i wear fucking slack. but i don't care. wore my worn down dark blue shirt, my gio jeans & my market slipper. actually it's nice lah but that stupid matrip cousin of mine dirtied it when he go pancing whilst i was fast asleep at changi beach. like EISH. slipper stealer!

so yah. met wani & jannah outside outdoor theater. then saw andy and friends. then met ahmad. proceed to rooftop. i just stood one corner because i don't know most of the rudes and the skins. so yah. then proceed to millenia walk to eat. badot brought coupons so ate at BK. then something crop up. & Ahmad put ALOT of BBQ sauce on my turkey bacon. ended up keep on farting on the way back to esppy.

pat atas ada hal. jeng3. ape lah argue pasal perempuan. no brains lah. wanna rembat2 all. where's your brain where's your brain? just like the mofo ex lah. kaninah.

blah at 8. walked through memo because underground like far ah. and it's kind of crowded. so yadda2. at memo kena kacau. then at padang have to walk against a whole bunch of skinheads. i was alone la mind you. and just so happened that i know 3 of them lah. like, alahai. PAISEH lah wear like that. very sakai. not used to it also. then outside saint andrew's church, got disturbed again by EMOKIDS. eeeee merepek tak layan.

then my happiest moment was reaching tampines! bought myself snacks and PIZZA!! whooo hoooh! cheese pizza!!!!

dearest mommy called. she didn't scold. means that dad is okay with it. reached home before 9. was so happy lor.

alhamdullilah. tomorrow prolly going to go out with my parents. take passport pictures then maybe shopping? or go nenek house. YAAAHOOOO.

terima kasih ya allah. amin.

p/s ; see. i don't need a man to make me happy. so GSF!

2006-03-24T20:56:00.000+08:00

I'M JUST SO FUCKING PISSED LA AH !
PIECES OF SHIT! DAMN YOU SUCKERS!

GONE! GONE ARE THE TRUST!!!
I JUST CAN'T TRUST BITCHES CALLED FRIENDS ANYMORE!
FUCK FRIENDS. I LOVE ENEMIES.
OHHH WONDERFUL EH!

AND FUCK!
MY PHONE. MY FUCKING NOKIA 6111! CIBAI!
WHAT KIND OF SHIT SERVICE IS THIS MAN?! NOKIA CARE YOU SUCK LA! WHOEVER THAT SERVICEMAN WHO REPAIRED MY PHONE, YOU SUCK AS WELL LAH! AND YOU MINAH! YOU SUCK ALSO LAH! CIBAI. ARGH!

URGH.
AJAY .. ZU SOOOO SORRY I CAN'T REPLY TO YOUR SMS-ES. ZU VERY SORRY TAU. ARGH!!! AND I WANNA GO MOVIE TOMORROW! BUT HOW TO, WITHOUT A FUCKING DECENT PHONE WITH FUCKING BATTERY.

KANINA LA
HATE THIS MAN
CIBAI
$498 PHONE SIAL. ARGH!! DAD I'M SOOOO SORRY. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S MY FAULT OR THE PHONE JUST RAISED THE WHITE FLAG. ARGH! BARU 3 MONTH SIAL. ARGH!
ERGH!!!!
GOSH.
SO I'M SOOOOOO NOT GONNA SAVE UP MY SCHOOL ALLOWANCE FOR BAJU! GONNA GET A CHEAP 2ND HAND CELLPHONE.

ARGH DAMN! PIKIRAN SIAL.
CIBAI
FUCK YOU LAH SIAL !

ERGH!!!! K I SOUND LIKE A MINARHHHHHH.

All Fall Down

2006-03-23T15:58:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Easy Life - Bodysnatchers
Mood: Sucks to be Me
******

i wonder what triggers people to create such lies to the extent that friendship that has been bonded to break, just like that. such people are under my list of the undesirables, and even the slightest glimpse of them anywhere would make me want to turn my back and head towards another direction.

say; 'failed attempt in love' is the trigger. i'd classify that as bullshit. surely there have to be some belief in fate & destiny. and somehow i know that we both just aren't destined for each other. he's one heck of a possessive psychopath. he's bent into asking people if some skinheads want to lay their hands on him. and insists that I'm the one who asked those skins to beat him. like, hello? i'm a reasonable person. why must i ask someone else to beat you up when i can do that myself?

asking around, telling lies. it all seemed too fake. perhaps he's just craving the attention. not a surprise for the youngest member of the family. spoilt brat. he can have his friends back all he wants. but even his mate won't want to bother about him no more. call me a whiner. it doesn't bother me the slightest bit about his plot against me. as time pass, the plot thickens, and only the pure ignorant fail to see the different shades of grey in between.

The Innocent. they sure play a role in this plot. they're the so called extras. they've been reluctantly included in the 'story'. isn't it ~~cool?~~ like suddenly, for no godamn reason, you're in for the greatest ride of your life. ok not.

Yes i WAS alone, all out on my own.
i don't care no hoots. trouble is just another normal thing on my list of Don'ts, but somehow they managed to get into my list of Do's. whilst i'm telling people to steer away from trouble (avoid the trouble that already happened in a sense), i'm getting into more trouble myself. but, why would Bounch want to lay a hand on him? for no fuck reason. just because THAT PERSON is an anti-skins, doesn't mean that skins doesn't have brains.

oh fuck. leave me alone on the death highway.

GSC ohh~

2006-03-20T15:11:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Up Yours! - Roots N Boots
Mood: Tired
******

yesterday went to mosaic festival. GSC lah. haha.. went out ard 4 take my hp. SO I DONCH NEED THE OLD PHONE. got fight over there. then proceed to city hall. met husaini there. dia yang tegur aku. aku dah lah jalan tutop mata, paiseh sak. walked through city link. tak berani ah nak jalan memo sorang2.

reached there. sat with wani and the rudies. then slack until 7. in between hee, NAZEER sampai! dengan dann. talk2 with them for a while. da tu dudok balek. then wani called me, she say wan ada wan ada. ahh EEEE.

then gsc start. on the dot uhs, azura, fiza & another gal forgot her name came. hoho.MISH ZURA! then wanna just sit down and take picture. but wani n izfa kept pulling me up. then fiza n zura was like.. mau pe? mau pe? haha. ahlah, MAU JEK AH. put bag one side and skank tha maghrib away. the space small, but nevermind. enjoy! then some shit happened. jengjengjeng. wani pissed. 7.30 da bes. oh yahr, AWOOL nyanyi dengan cik widy sih! shahrul happy siot. hahaha. he was smiling all the way after that.

after that chaos. chaos. saw JINA! IFAH! RINA! take pictures with them. macam funny ah the pictures. hahaa..den amat called ahmad to get through me. MAI!!! met mai oh mai oh mai! mish her alot alot alot lah. then saw nazeer, then saw fadli. not THAT fad, PRSS fadli. then look for yan n rashid all. ah malas ah, wani pun da makin binget. beh go makan ahs. before that saw iqbar & bounch. den dann. den proceed millennia walk LJS to eat. nah, not eat ah. just drink water. then one by one masok. kecoh. then went back. rudies photo taking time.

then went back. watch the suns for a while. i see mats! those fucking faggots. then bored~ thought wanna leave oreadi. then walked out alone. ppl kept calling my name. i turn, ppl wave. but i dunnow who they are. luar outdoor theater, nazeer dann all there. then dann told me my frens calling me. who siak? skali IFAH lah! hahah

by that time, dinch noe wanna go back home or not. because it was already late. so go back that time oso reach home after 10, go back later oso still after 10. then ahh, just walked ah. then saw awool. talk to him a while. haha. awool happy giler seh. then borrowed his phone called home. kene marah. ahh then no mood oreadi just stayed at ct hall ah. stayed for USV. lagu dorang sedaaaaaaaaaap. plus the vox/strings HOT lah sah. haha. then jengjengjeng. DRIZZLING! all blah already. jina semangat sak. smalam jina macam cute gitu. hahahaha.

then ermps wanna go home. nazeer wanna stay. but then so sweet lah kan, he sent me all the way to city hall control station. but then it wasn't 10 yet lah. so still got time. talked all the way. take pic with him. waahahahha... HAPPY BANGET SIH.

so yah. that was yesterday. n i met my skinhead superstar. hahahahahahahahah diam ah zu

balek bobal dengan bryan. then bobal dgn bounch. hoho. both binget dengan mats. hahahaha

skinhead... skinhead reggae...

2006-03-18T15:07:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Glory Glory Red Giants - RnB
Mood: Tired
******

oh look. zu is 50kg ALREADY. i'm fat fat fat! see the babat lah . alamak. mom, that's why i need to go out every weekend. you know what we do ~ (macam faham)

mom told me to go out today. so tomorrow don't go out since dad's at home. alah~ i wanna go to the gig. but 15 bucks! no money. dzul's going with man. haighz. why lah GSC have to play tomorrow ?! if today, i can catch the 10pm set at powerhouse stage. and catch USV playing. haighz~ !!!

zu is fat
fat is zu

i need money!

WEEEEEE

2006-03-16T15:06:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Do You Still Remember - The Suspects AKA
Mood: Tired
******

my N6111 is spoilt. grr~ battery going to flat already, tried charging but couldn't. and maisarah was asking, 'ko switch on the plug tak?' alaahai. zu tak sebelo itu sihh. tapi maisarah lagi belo because that happened to her alot of times.

so yesterday went to Nokia Care alone. kinda blank. i told the lady what happened to the phone. SHE ACTUALLY SMILED when deep inside i was totally going NUTS. alahai. then she asked for the handset, i took out charger ! haha. ALAHAI. then after sign all, i took the pen along with me. ler~ then went back all the way in and put back the pen. tsk~ malu

then proceed to city hall. met wani , her sister , yan & his friend. lepak for a while. around 6.15 we left. then up the escalator, SAW AZLI! haha but went different directions lor. proceeded to toa payoh, then wani invited me to her house. alahai, reluctant ah. but still, i went to her house. lepak. haha. wah, kecoh ah her house. like so, meriah like that. if only i got other siblings eh. hmmsh~

then ard 8.40 left her house. waited for 28. kimak~ tunggu 28 boleh pengsan sak, lama. then yadda2, ard 10 reached home.

after that online. macam biaser ah eh. then ermp, k nothing more to say.

n yes! aku da de spirit of 69. hahahahahaha

my skinhead superstar

2006-03-13T16:12:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Bootboys - Section 5
Mood: Bored
******

i had the bestest dream ever. and how i wished it was real. it seemed so REAL. and when i woke up, i can feel the WARMTH, even though the aircon is still on. oh goody goody, it looked so real. i wished it was true. and i wished the flame never extinguished.

wooohooohooo. i didnt know why i dreamt about him also. we met at jurong east mrt station. he was going to work, and i just finished school. SP uhs. haha maju sak aku. then i never realised he beside me, waiting for train towards pasir ris uhs. then he tap2 my shoulder. i was like.. EH WHO'S THIS? sekali ehem2. woohooo

then alah. train pack abit sak. then we both stand uhs. cannot sit on the floor oso, too packed. then aleh2 at clementi many ppl alighted. then he pulled me to the 2 seat that one. he ask me to sit beside him, i rejected. he pull me down. k lah sat beside him. then nak tido. i leaned on the side. then he pulled me. he hugged me. like AWWWW. then he put my head on his shoulder. alah, macam sweet gitu kan. then he hugged me tite. how to sleep. he put his hands around my waist. ahh. the comfort. then he looked into my eyes... he said..

'u .. u're so sweet do u know that?'

siallah. then in the dream i laughed. he still look into my eyes. he smile. ALAHAI cair sihh tengok dia senyum.

and mind u. he's not the cutest guy on earth. hahahahahahahahahahahaha

oh i wished my dreams were real.

please be my skinhead superstar. hahaha. seeee zura..aku pun ada tauus! hahahhaha

2006-03-13T01:17:00.000+08:00

Listening to: We're Falling - The Official
Mood: Sad
******

hizzy hei ho everyone. guess what, it's 0115h in the morning & it's the 13th! well, i kinda miss 14th December 2005. ( Astria's going to kill me if she meets me on the streets ).

i don't miss you-know-what. but i missed cuddling with him & kissing (ermps) him at midnight. he's my ~~first~~ second and my everything at that time. and i think he still is deep inside, even though shrouded by hate.

the mates ; sadly to say, we are falling. for no apparent reason, wani & amad is being blacklisted, all because of me. gawsh, lass ... lad ... i'm so sorry alright. and dzul, take care ah. hafiz, man... jaga2 kan dzul. yan punk, jaga amira baik2. haha

emo sial.
and shit happen.
liverpool lost.
daing.
whats with MARCH.

fvck all who u are

2006-03-10T14:12:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Rockin Oi! - Marten's
Mood: Fucked up
******

i'm skeptical about this present 'relationship' that i'm having now. pardon me for whining , but i'm insinuating if all these are just my own delusion or wishful thinking on his part. these acts of tergiversation has got to stop. i can't just run away from the fact that i'm with him and just let him suffer on his own. argh~ he, for once, has had his fair share of bitter experience with his previous other halves. but for me, i'm just stucked with my ignorant self and still am to the unsophisticated society.

it's day 4, and my ruthless self has come to show up. damn.

words like forever, 'tetap', 'selamanya', and phrases like 'i wanna be with u forever, promise', are just passe and overrated. LIKE n LOVE are two different words. get that in your head! so yeah, i'm putting on a fake charade in front of you just to please your godamn self. take that la ah. and since you trust statements made by other people and reluctant to believe me, so be it la ah.
aku? sayang orang lain? tidak dapat la ah. satu jantan pon aku tak pandang pat hati ah. take that la take that! blame on yourself for raking up MY past.

and so, i'm calling it a day for both of us. yeh fuck with just 4 days. people can't force me to love man. i'm just hesitant with all the bullshit that these homesepians called MALES have got to offer. yeah yeah, i do begrudge at couples at times, but that's typical la ah. but i know myself better, and if you're not good at convincing, then DON'T. the only fagg0t who managed to convince me is well, that FAG. people ask, what's so good about that uneducated malaysian basket? the answer only lies within myself and no one will ever know.

argh. love, the conundrum that has yet brought smile & tears to many, just serve as a platform for me to hate, but not in its literal terms. meet eye for an eye, i don't care.

and if he's looking at this as a stab in the back, so be it. i know and i'm staying put with my decision. love sucks. family & studies are much more important. and friends vs other-half, friends are my priority.

and thus i'll take my stand, 'sayang biar banyak, cinta hanya satu'. and i love my family, even though there's 'world war' going on.

phuck love. phuck other halves.
CHEERS.

Drink Beer Fuck Fear!

ohhh bored

2006-03-07T13:04:00.000+08:00

Listening to: One More for the Bois - Gen69
Mood: Bored/Sick
******

it was 6th March yesterday. thus, no doubt most of my mates are in school doing their orientation at their respective institutions. well, maisarah is still in MI. and she says there's this culture guy in I-dont-know-which-OG.

oh, and how i miss the glory Orion Days. For the HOARD! it's really fun. gosh, i'm so missing millennia. and some of my friends actually felt like going back to MI for the orientation. haha.. i guess they missed the pole dancers Joel and Hazwan.

whilst i'm rotting at home with absolutely nothing to do, i'm wasting my time smsing people. so err, like i've already used up 600+ sms in just a few days. fuck! plus i'm using my room phone to talk to people.

i'm just so, BORED. i've just recovered from sore throat a week ago and now i'm sick again. argh! should stop smoking should really really stop smoking. argh~ i just can't understand my dad. forgive me for whining too much, but i think all this have got to stop. all this RESTRICTIVE measures have to be put to an end. the hassle of going through O levels has ended for a long time, whilst enjoying victory after the collection of results, i'm only stucked with misery, and perhaps much more misery in time to come. oh God, what have my family come to ? i seek enlightenment from you oh the Almighty One.

haighz.

thankx darla. i miss you. i'm going to miss you darla. i'm sorry i can't go down for the next 2 or maybe 3 weeks. and perhaps, i might not be even buying clothes for polytechnic. i'm still saving up for my merc crest & ben sherman.

gawsh. this seemed so wrong. i don't know why. i just hope things wouldn't turn out like how it used to when i was with THAT person. alahhh and he should stop missing me liaooo.

stucked. lost. bored. sick.
slumped in a state of confusion. nowhere to go, no place to hide.

oh and i'm so in love with 'died in the war' by the Official.
and i can't help but laugh when people thought i'm a byrd.
siallah.
jauh dari the bloody fact.
it's in the heart.

SKAWERKZ

2006-03-05T12:44:00.000+08:00

Listening to: BFC/S.H.A.R.P Skins/Racial Hatred - The Bois
Mood: Tired
******

so yesterday went to skawerkz. went out ard 2 and met ast. took train alighted at simei, met dzul & gang. wan came late, so we took different train. at lavender, walked. far siol. naseb got friend hor, if i go back alone, confirm got lost.

went in, siallah, NEARLY 3 and they still soundchecking. bored sia, coz scared that the bois n secret army wun get to play. secret agent played first, followed by sunny ska'd. acherli da malas ah nak skank, den suddenly saw that 'minahrude'. no need to know who hor. then saw my 'mutual other half'. hermsh. after that perfect lie, skank like POOF. was in front. then skinheads started moshing. kene tolak, tolak balek, kene tolak, tolak balek. then last2 izfa pulled wanie to go to the back. then went out. go eat2. after that went in, sally's rejex was playing. baru abes makan da terlonjak2. ko betul ke tak seii zu? haha. but i really need to burp coz i felt like throwing up. i'm always like that. then i kept coughing, i dunnow why. mebe rokok. then asek kentot, coz wanna berak. haha.

oh yar. went on the way back to the cc, saw bounch. haha. then saw arab & the bois. then saw Firm on Fire members. then i saw MY COUSIN. hahaha. babi, call his name tak dgr. den he said HEIII HIEEE. hahahaaa. cute sak sdare aku yg botak tu.

then after sallys, SECRET ARMY! k ah, tarik ifah jina n zarina i tink to the front. alar, wanna take pic cannot, coz ZU SHORT! took skinheads moshing only. dzul kene headbutt teros never mosh. ape jer. FUCK THE USA, FUCK THE USA. aahaha. army's first song. then yadda2. THE BOIS!!!! their first song was NEW GENERATION. waaweewoo.

-we're the new generation. razors in the night. angels with dirty faces WE.ARE.NEVER.RIGHT
-we're the new generation. and we'll make a stand. we'll prove to anyone you know, WE.DON'T.GIVE.A.DAMN!

then whilst they we're playing for the adelphi or adelphi crew ( dunnow the title ) wanie asked me what song. baru nak bend down suddenly 2 or 3 skins hit me. wahhh. BIG PLAK TU. 3/4 bounch peii size siol. tk sempat nak stop dorang aku da jatoh! da jatoh takpe, hentak kerusi. hentak kerusi takpe, KENE HEMPAP DGN 2 ORANG. aiseiibedah. fun fun fun. the sound system sucks laaaa! spoil sak. but overall GEREK.

the bois abes just in time. PUAS HATI SOL 5 bucks.

after the gig, proceed to city hall. ONE BIG GROUP. then at city hall, jalan berpecah2. they leave each other, but at rooftop, JENGJENGJENG. wan basket. he stopped the escalator. we were running around like mad people. ya ah, sape blakang dia kene siol. lagi2 the whole bunch of us were still at the escalator. hahaha. LARI2 macam cibot. then kene scolded by the woman. fuck the authorities.

we had fun until dzul got scolded for throwing stones. FUCK THE MEN IN BLUE! and then they made a whole turn and came back to us and 'tegur' us to sit at the side not at the centre, against the law or something like that. EH KEREK SIA. menyesal sia delete lagu BOIS in BLUE & POLICE BASTARDS dari hp. lau tak aku bukak siak kuat2 bila drg tengah marah. dorang nak marah aku, MARAH ah. ape kesah sak. bapak lu peii tempat per siol. and taufik mod asek KENTOT.

YOU KILL OUR PEACE AND SPOIL THE NIGHT
YOU ALWAYS THINK YOU'RE RIGHT!

luqman kiout. dzul kiout. wan step hensem. weeeeee~

overall the fun is during Oi & at rooftop. fuck the authorities! plus..the fun wudnt be made possible without

wan.yan.hafiz.afiq.ramadan.dan.dzul.luqman CUTE.WANIE<3 & her kakaks.amad.mamat.AB.nazeer.izfa.jina.ifah & her fren.ast.

woooooohooooo. & i saw loads of ppl yest. but i dun tegur coz ZU SCARED. k ah tired k bye.

2006-03-03T11:32:00.000+08:00

Listening to: nothing
Mood: Lost
******

goodbye millennia.
hello Singapore Polytechnic.
a whole new round of adaptation ; yet again.
new people. i'm SO not looking forward towards it.
oh dear oh dear.

daing!

2006-03-01T07:49:00.000+08:00

Listening to: JB Riot - The Official
Mood: Sleepy
******

iskandar seriously tebiat, period.

and everything is fine now. i'm no longer going crazy.

thanks to
astria
wanie
hafiz (yan)
hafiz shatec
hafiz (mat kretek)
dzul
nazeer
bounch
makcik ako

for giving me support. aku sayang wanie, and ast, and nazeer. hee~

yesterday went city hall meet them ! wahh, at last ah can go out. laugh like i never laugh before. huhu. den went to makcik house. kene sound sia dgn bdk ite. coz i was wearing lonsdale tee. nabeii. APE SIAL ASAL BLEII PAKAI.. asal aku pakai lonsdale? aku baru balek boxing arhh..

k zu da mepek

goinna go school on thursday
waaweewoo
pastu turon ct hall amek jeans
aku da beli skawerkz nye tix
tinggal 25 tix
skawerkz ; 23 follies & SMC tk main
sunny ska'd & the perfect lie is added to the lineup
just for your info lor btw
friday; nk lepak with them onot eiis?

. BLOODY FAG! .

2006-02-25T17:29:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Crucified - The Bois
Mood: Tired . Bored
******

it's 5.30 pm and it's a saturday. night will soon take over day and that's when fun comes into sight. having a laugh & having a say, lay our butts on the steady ground and taking a puff, i'm certainly missing all those today.

not forgetting millennian day out. haighz

fought with mom for two consecutive days just to beg to go out. FUCK THE BULLSHIT ! i'm certainly not schooling anymore and yet i can't go out? FUCK FREEDOM. FUCK JUSTICE at this FUCKING HOME. help you MOM? OH LIKE REALLY2 YOU ALLOW ME TO HELP? ALL YOU EVER SAY WAS TO LEARN HOW TO COOK ! DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE? !

just as i was starting to cool down yesterday evening, that FAGGOT suddenly unblock me from msn and started to chat with me. and he DUG OUT THOSE PAINFUL PAST that seemed to him all the pleasure in the world. then when i didn't want to talk to him about it or meet him today, HE BLOCK ME BACK.

changed my nickname to..
BLOCK AH BLOCK! BO HERAN BO LAYAN. U SKINHEAD POSER!
and..
JB RIOT KEPE?! SCREW YOU

surprisingly, he unblocked me and SCOLDED ME. then he sms-ed me and said that he was sorry. 'i'm sorie k'

k FUCK ah. aku tk pasal soyal. tak puas hati, bobal. and k ar since he say 'takya nak naik angin satu badan', k ah i talked to him nicely. and ARGH! that stubborn-ness in him, HATE IT SAK. TRUE! I DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER.

him: i dowant to destroy your future and mine . .. .

CHEH. FUTURE. cakap abes soyal!! kau abes NS 2008, kau pikit by that time aku masih ada hati pat kau? kau ada hati pat aku tu ah sudah arh, but da kene ludah kau masih nak jilat balek kape? siak ahh future...siallah... tanak tanak.. aku tanak anak aku 'INDIAN' sak... nanti ader jer kene balek kampong pat batu pahat, tempat kesayangan kau...

argh.. DISGUSTING ah talk about him. i was eating when he suddenly said 'elo', and i literally felt like PUKING! honestly. bounch angry soyal. haha.. amacam bounch? BRING ON THE SKINHEAD ARMY RIGHT TO HIS FUCKEN FACE!

iskandar is one heck of a world talker.

UP YOURs! FOR ALL THE SHIT TALKING THAT YOU SAID
TELL YOUR LIES TO THE PEOPLE ON THE STREETS
UP YOURs! FOR ALL THE SWEET LYING THAT YOU SPREAD
TELL YOUR LIES TO THE PEOPLE ON THE STREETS

oh ~~BABY BWOII~~ , can't you see for now it's clear? the things you did are FAR from real.

i might not be a skin but i know. you're such a stupid liar. stubborn, hot headed, and sex crazy. i'll never want to have anything to do with you anymore. and the next time you talk to me like that, i'll make sure, the next time i meet you, you're going to meet the fists & boots of the skinheads you used want to 'CUCI'.

watch your back.

. missing ~ .

2006-02-22T22:20:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Pigs - Oxymoron
Mood: Tired
******

itchy hands! why the heck did i suddenly sms him about the money seh?! i think i did out of boredom during maths lecture. haighz ~ i want to live life as it is now, no iskandar. and how i wished we had never been together. but somehow i'm not even moving on, neither is he. dont know if i should really meet him tomorrow. see how it goes, if he msged me about giving the buck back, so be it.

'pape jadi picit tau!' - wanie

she's such a good councillor. haighz.

i feel lost, souless when i'm alone. like as if i need a shoulder to lie on. this feeling always go away every saturday when i'm with my mates.

yesterday took 985 home with the garderners & dinie. i .. shan't .. elaborate . ! =D

haighz. asal hidup like this? not really my whole LIFE as a whole. i know you know.

. yay sok duit masok .

2006-02-20T18:04:00.000+08:00

Listening to: SHARP Skins - The Bois
Mood: Pissed
******

how come people can CALL you on the cellphone for several times but when we ask him/her on MSN, that person just SHUTS THE FUCK UP and not even respond to your IM ? idk. i'm slightly agitated when i get a call from that person. i'll just let the cellphone ring until it stops. at least it isn't the normal "ring ring" tone. set it to 'police bastards' by the Bois. haha ~

coppers are bastards
coppers are cowards
coppers are wankers
DOGS of the government.

planning to go MI tomorrow. at least got pocket money. i think i'll bring breakfast and a bottle of water to school so i can save that money to buy some shirts or jackets. thought of buying bennies, but donnow lah. i have more school shirts than shirts for going out. so i think, i;ll just wear jacket everyday to school. =p

crap.
ecp gig, gonna go. hella skankn' time.
idk.
i'm now a very happy girl. =)
good news or bad news?
but i'm still the blurr & noisy kid you can find.
and i still got that 'worst than a bull' temper.
=)
cheers & fucking beers.

. sat nite out! .

2006-02-19T14:16:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Rocksteady Party - Laurel Aitken & Potato 5 / bois in blue - brewing boots
Mood: Tired
******

yesterday's plan was here, there, everywhere. in other words, 'berteraboh'. so last minute, went to last minute gig. i was late because iza was still using the PC even at 3.

met wanie, wanie kecik & wanie's sisters at city hall at 4. proceed to substation. saw luqman. went in, the perfect lie was playing their set. err, they're new i think. played some old two-tone covers and ska. then dzul, rasyid, ramadan, nazir & yan joined in with us. next was mulysa. the big guys moshed, then stopped. 'eh eh stop ah banyak pompan ah'. ehh siak, pompan tak pompan, janji take care of each other arh sial! then something happen. pissed faces, people were looking for my friends. stayed outside during mulysa's set. after that was dunnow what band. then after that i think was juliet's diary. went in, they're okay ah. i like the songs, but just the crowd sia. no mood to stand, so just sit down & made a fool with the rest. then after that betol nye takboley tahan siak. went out smokey2 dudok2 lepak2. saw some punx, ariff & harold. then saw hilmi, thought of calling his name, but aleh2 tat kecik ah, suspect dia nak rokok. kejar dia siyol. seme orang jadi mangsa dia bab kita tak kasi dia steng rokok. alalalal kesian dia. she pinch nazir until bengkak. lols

after that 7 plus, roll call for FPM. fpm tak datang ah dok. haha...aku cakap tanak pecayer. then proceed to waterfront. my head spinning like fuck. they keep asking if aku minom, never lah! then opposite penin, saw bounch, haha basket..he n fpm's drummer. then walk2 to 7-11. amad & yan punk pat sana, with some skins & other rudies & few punkx..saw that skin yg muka same dgn that faggot. ah buat bodoh suda! lepak2 at waterfront. kpaler da berpusing maut. oh yahr, something happened! SIAK AH RASYID !!! haha..now wanie got a new nickname.. if ask wanie mana, say wanie CACAK! hahahahahahahahha ... lawak of the day seii haha!.! at waterfront keep laughing about that incident, tah ah, macam kekek giler ah. the ones yang not with us masa tu lost seii. haha...teros wanie dgn rasyid dok jauh giler seii. wanie very bingit bout something. den tat zul kucing somemore boleh tanya pasal ex aku si hafiz! ape sehh! aku da tah ah, rasa rindu ada, bingit ada, lost pon ada. aku tanye zul macam2, seme dia tak tau. step mana nye tak tau je. dia lang aku dia kenal at tuition, padahal hafiz normal acad saks! padahal kawan silat. ish! da nak 2 tahun pun masih tanak admit nih! sort siak!!!

kpaler da makin berpusing siol. pinjam zul punye denim jacket ah cover badan. sejuk siols. zul nye jacket bau bedak sakss! wangi huiyohhh. aku cover badan aku pon comfortable plus bau wangi lagis. huhus~ 8.30 budak2 tinggal simei blah...8.45 budak2 tampines blah, aku lar tu..walk walk..alamak, byk org aku kenal, step tak nampak ahh. i was too tired to salam2 ppl. plus mabok. den dekat2 bridge situ, rudies & punk kitties..dan & zir salam2 dem.. i salam irma onli..dey look at me one kind..ahh ape2 lahs..i go sit down one corner onlii. den after tat go back. ahhhh. go 7-11 blanje them drinks. den go mrt station. den home sweet home. took 65 back, ran all the way home.

reach home 10.05. but the clock says 10.15, luckily the clock 10 mins faster. so YAY! never get scolded. but dad ask me to sit down and we talk2 about this friend of mine. then watch tv, this zahid AF guy. yah, the songs nice2 ah. but i like mawi better. shh, my soft spot. hahahaha

ok. its a long entry and my language sucks. so long.

. let me sleep .

2006-02-17T23:16:00.000+08:00

Listening to: We're coming back / Offline - the maniacs / skinhead- gen69
Mood: Sleepy
******

somehow people need to breakaway from the stereotype that 'bald & adidas footwear=skinheads'. idk, that's how i feel. something terrible just happened, and i don't know if it really happened between my friend and his gang with a group of skins. just that, ah, pity his friend's family. hitting the head using a metal bar?! what on earth was the guy thinking about siak! idk. my friend himself wasn't sure if it was that particular dude that did this, but he said some skin got arrested and refused to give out any names. argh, idk lah. there's bound to be a riot anytime soon once my friends and his fucking gang find the group that caused his friend's death.

but something really seemed fishy. one of the guys wore WHITE goggle specs. any clue or idea who that guy is?

argh. just hope won't bump into any coppers anytime tomorrow. enough siak~ zu, just wait till you're 18 ah ehh. 1 year n 9 months more lass!

i really need to occupy myself with something that is worth the cause. i just can't carry on with this eat-sleep-net-phone-tv thing. it's driving me NUTS. and when i'm bored, my mind tends to be blank. when my mind is blank, MEMORIES starts rushing. this little platform keeps rewinding the same old shit from the past. even those little trivias, those little stupid fucking fights. right from punkrock show of twenty-o-four, till the day he went in. and that fucking you-know-who.

is it just me or am i just fated to live life this way? now that i'm so free, perhaps i have the time to think. but i just can't. every little idea that come, have a price to pay. the little jukebox plays that same old sad tune.

am i just a ~~lucky~~ because the previous 2 said 'you'll be my last girl' or is it something, whether miracle or not in disguise. shut up if you're trying to tell me off for boasting, i just need some little space of my own to speak out.

but overall . .
hafiz, i'm so sorry for not having you to be my last one. so much for me having to move on only to be thrown back to square one. idk if the rs with that nazi bastard was just an infatuation. but everytime that emptiness strikes me in the heart, you're still the first one i think of, the first one to really prove to me that you'll change for me. but what took a turn in our lives, are just a thing of the past. so goodnight goodnight, goodnight & sleep tight. those words from you, will forever be in my memory. wherever you are now, i really hope to hear from you soon. it's going to be close to 17 months you're inside.

those were the days, where trouble reigns. 2004 ; things took a drastic change in my life. thankful to the one above that i didn't get indulged in alcohol, and i hope not even after this. temptations to drink and get drunk, swim away with my sorrows, dunking them far far away, will just remain a temptation, one which i wouldn't even want to attempt.

i'm so confused up here.

muhd hafiz y. ~~the skinhead times~~

. bored .

2006-02-17T15:07:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Skinhead 4 Life - ACAB
Mood: Dead Bored
******

somehow, it's healthy to keep ourselves occupied with activites. activities that are beneficial to us that is. that's why ms nora told us to take up a CCA or join in any clubs or sports no matter which institution we go to after getting our results. not only does it gives us a timeout after hours of squeezing juices out of that tiny brain, it also well, allows us to broaden our views and ~~perspectives~~ opinion and keeps us healthy physically & mentally. overall, my point is that by engaging in either indoor or outdoor activities, it certainly keeps us away from straying away and get involved in negative activities.

ah. it takes me minutes to figure out one word. what the hell. my brain isn't functioning properly already.

so that friend of mine called me in the wee hours of morning. well, not really WEE. but early enough for me to still tuck myself in bed. i decline the offer of going out with her. idk, it just doesn't feel right. and she's constantly pestering me to go out with me, ALONE. omg~ haha. like really really. sounds scary. she said till around 6, but i doubt so. i told mom about her, and my mom was like, 'nak buat ape, orang berubah' (what to do, people change). eh~ mcm pena dengar jek tu line. haha

so much for being bored, and i refused to go out. you must be thinking 'ARE YOU NUTS?!' yeah whatever. rather be nuts than going out with someone reluctantly. whilst i'm always reluctant to go out on a saturday, i'm enjoying the night with the lads n lass. idk, seemed like i've known them for a long time already. but i hope that with time, we won't turn our backs at each other and give a stab from behind.

i'm still waiting for my dad's permission for saturday freedom. he was like asking for what? city hall? that place for romance2 rite. pala otak lahhh~ lalalala~ rude eh? inherited from the parents. huahuahua.

but idk what's next if he knows who i'm slacking with. but hey, at least they're students by day, it ain't bad isn't it?

argh. i'm bored. gonna send my friend's friend back to australia. meeting her at T2. all the best.

. dead cities! .

2006-02-16T18:51:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Prohibition - 86 Crew/ Skins are Back! - Volxsturm
Mood: Bored!!!
******

alright. i feel there's absolutely no point for me to blog nowadays. it's LIFELESS in here. okey, i'll still call it 'home sweet home'. and i still have no idea if i'll be having saturday nights every weekend. haiyah~ if only they allowed me to stay up till 10 & be home by 11, that's awesome.

okay. so was chatting with amirah my lass. people do change, for the better, or worst. as for me, well, physical wise i'm still the plain ol' jane you would always come across. mental wise, haha i think i'm getting more insane, but at least school has taught me to think more maturely.

and i congratulate my dear babe for finally being attached to someone. i think jarell's the name. well, hope she's happy with her life now.

we were like talking about this mate of ours, well, there's significant change in her. clubbing?! my turn hasn't come yet but i doubt i'll go and enjoy my arse up just by clubbing. thursday, ladies night? oh freaking goodness what on earth was she thinking about? i didn't know the change in her until amirah told me. but well, people change, can't deny that. and, *sighs*. idk what to say already lah.

oh, and that freaking bastard is enlisting himself for NS. eh iskandar shah, balek malaysia enlist yourself for PLKN can? tunggu pat bustop daerah batu pahat saner, nanti dia amek u. idk, whats the highest rank can u get in army my sweet bastard? private? lcp? u only have PSLE my dear lad, PSLE saje! still have the cheeks to call me bodoh? ok, i'm stupid, figuratively. as if that existed.

bah~ i can't help seeing SIMILAR faces of different people. astria knows why rite.

life. like no life ah now. either i'm sleeping ,eating, on the phone, on the internet, or out to city hall. like, HAIGHZ.
and i need kaching. but i dowanna werk.
ok lazy fucker.
bye

. when goodnight means goodbye .

2006-02-15T00:41:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Offline - The Maniacs/ Skinhead - Gen69
Mood: High
******

You,
you were the one who always bring me tears
sadness, sorrow, and nothing but an empty heart.

That NIGHT,
the night you brought me into a land,
a land of fear,
fearing the ones above,
but deep down below,
letting me sink,
sink ; into deep pleasure plus intense pain;
which i couldn't describe.

Your EYES,
they tell a story.
since it was night time;
and we parted our own ways;
said goodbye and you walked away.

I Recalled;
goodnight. goodnight.
goodnight & goodbye my love.
perhaps that the answer ; -
when goodnight means goodbye;
goodbye my love, goodbye forever.

. happy vday .

2006-02-14T13:11:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Bookies - P.O.H
Mood: Sleepy
******

no wonder i was moody yesterday. it was the 13th. so okay like WHATEVER!

and so last saturday is still the norm for me. 'saturday night out' as astria puts it. so yah, nothing much about last saturday. and i'm not going to post the pictures here as i've already uploaded it on my yahoo photo album and i don't like my blog to be infested with photos, seemed like cluttured ( however u spell it )

so valentine day is today. *rolls eye* nah, i don't give a damn about valentine. but unlike previous years, some people wished me. haha.. hahahaha.. unexpected i guess. and the irony, they are all HAFIZs. happy vday to these people as well. org da wish, wish balek jek lar..

and that HAFIZ, pak sanggup siol. but nevermind lah, this year u just enjoy with that girl okay. tkpe tkpe tak ajak zu pon takpe, zu tak heran.

the other hafiz got girl oreadi. ok shhh

the other other hafiz i not so close. but heck lah k.

the last one is judas. knew him off soft.com. he helped me decide in whether to take aerospace or not.

and thanks astria for telling me that STRATEGY. it helps. LOL

hafiz. hafiz. hafiz. hafiz. hafiz.
reminisce all the memories that we had.
punkrock show 030704.
we started off 050704.
too bad we ended 140704.
bitches.
u left 171004.
without a trace, without a sign. i wish the court didnt open the case.
oh well, everything happens for a reason, as said by khyrul.

2006-02-10T21:16:00.000+08:00

Listening to: It's A Pity - Tanya Stevens
Mood: Pissed
******

syukur alhamdullillah. i passed the O levels. but i'm very very disappointed with my ownself. why? WHY oh WHY?

English >> c6 ____ bleargh! i expected a four!
Emath >> b3 ____ mcm cibai. why siak?!
Amath >> b3 ____ alhamdullillah. up 2 grades
Physics >> b4 ____ alhamdullillah! syukur
Chemistry >> c6 ____ erks. still pass. agaknye brape mark eh
Biology >> b4 ____ UNEXPECTED!!
Hist/SS >> b4 ____ i saw a four and i ROFL. literally
Malay >> a1 ____ tau takpe

adding on to my state of confusion cum sadness cum annoyed, someone made it worst. 'Kau bodoh kape!' is what that he said. oh iskandar, tell me u hate me. tell me u NO LONGER sayang me. phuck what i did to you last time. just fucken tell me ar. don't be such a wussy and hide behind that wall you're at. why on the other day did u not tell me that U SHOULDN'T CALL/SMS me no longer. like hello, who asked who to call who in the first place. nabeiis. you're such a wussy iskandar. gosh innit such a pity? u indian blood bastard! *fuckit if u read dis & tell me to say it straight to his face, coz i've already done so* bitch la iskandar u bitch. change your attitude la eys. mentang2 KAKAK kau byk peh pandai nak panggil aku bodoh. FINE arh. kalau aku bodoh pon, hmm, rasa2 nya DARIPADA KAU jugak kan. go back to your fucken country doode! berani buat berani tanggung ar k, takya nak step lost contact. i can be a fucken stalker if i have to. you can no longer hide behind that awkward silence. pasal kao ar eyy aku da MUAK dengan perangai2 sialan dari jantan2 musibat.

k back to the point.
should i stay in millennia institute or go poly?
i wanna go & fulfil what my bro wanted me to, to go university. but i cant go to a jc.
haiz.

. last day in MI ? .

2006-02-09T20:27:00.000+08:00

Listening to: My Kind of Society - Secret Army
Mood: Tired
******

today's the last day for some of us. took pics together. the only lesson i attended today was history lecture. watched Manchurian Candidate. quite a nice/boring/dry/interesting show. after that chemistry lecture, skipped. went for break instead, all the way till HT. paid up the carnival money & took pictures with Mr Roslan, our Home Tutor. so here are the pics of today. i am SICK actually.

me & syikin? i forgot her name. haiyoo

me & maisarahhh. that gila gila gal. HEE

dinie the cutiepiee.

me. dunnow what his name & safwanah. (she wanna take pix with him & drag me along liao de)

me & karl. he wore black underwear today. and he's a ~~pussy~~ wussy.

maisarah with the spongebob drawing that i drew. i gave it to her later on. aww, zu so sweet. =)

me & i forgot her name. hee

fashil. dinie. fahmy (cut-off)

dinie. fahmy.

safwanah & 04s4. kiakiakia.

*???*. abu amir . me . abu looks quiet but he isn't. kinda crazy & sporting. cute oso. haha

shikin. maisarah. mark *sarah* . safwanah. 06s13!

ilyas dgn safwanah. step fierce sia tu 'pompan'

now you see the lady in him.

06s13 with mr roslan. melayu bebbs! salahuddin takda ahrs

me. syikin. QAZIM the cutieeeee. safwanah

me n my OG bapok mate, brandon james fernandez. very tall rite

errps. viewer discretion advised!

CANDID

BIMBOS! hahahahaha

H1 history students. some of them larhs

the table we conquered for the whole day.

US with my bestest best friend in MI, HAKIM!!!!!!

saffy & me. 'AKU SAAAAYANNG KAU'. she tinks i hate her bcoz i'm so hostile towards her. aww..

wak jepah @ ifah. muka jek bdk baik tapi perangai mcm *^^#@$#%!

me & keong.

my 2nd bestest OG mate, izzah.

saffy & me...

last but not least, azli & me. awww...i miss him tho. kiakiakia. sialan ajerrr. just friends lah. viva la punkrock lee~

. SICK!! haha .

2006-02-08T17:33:00.000+08:00

Listening to: This is Not the End - Secret Army
Mood: SICK
******

didnt go to school today. felt unwell. my mom woke me up at 5.15 and i didn't want to wake up. then i dream that i was already in the toilet & wanted to PEE. then i felt eh why i PEE like tak sedap like that. THEN I WOKE UP & OMG! i PEE-D in my shorts. luckily abit only siak. and luckily my mattress & pillow tak kena. woke up & walked *duh* to the loo and PEE properly inside the toilet bowl then change into a new pair of shorts & then slept again.

woke up at 10. checked my HP. got 4 sms. acherli i heard the fone vibrating but i could not care less. aww that hafiz *SHATEC* was so sweet. crazy guy, how come aleh2 he so nice to me. something is fishy. he even asked me out to lunch one day after school. HMM

i'm so bored. it's 5.42 and i've absolutely nothing to do at home. ada bdk ite tamp tengah ketawa tergolek2 pat bawah. gila pey jantan. literally tergolek2 lah sial. merepek

so sorry ilyas *prss* to trouble you. i owe yer some favor mate. cheers

*u whine & u hate. but u dunnow what batches especially the one before MY BATCH went through. do you know, do you even care what we went through last time? i used to emphasise this to my 2005 Part B batch last year, that YOU GIRLS are so fortunate that NCC has been quite lenient now. i don't know which NCO u were referring to, but i think i know who. gosh~ i'm so sorry you haf to go through shits like family problems & u're studies sucks & whatsoever. but they're 2, or even 3 DIFFERENT problems & u sudn't mix it with NCC. i SWEAR tat NCC is a wholly drama thing. u'll have to co-operate even with your WORST enemies. u work with EACH OTHER because you HAVE TO. and i think i could count how many times you girls were punished LAST YEAR. hell yes. punishments in the FOYER under the FAN summore. such luxury u all have. i don't think that shit is ENOUGH for you girls. no matter HOW u HATE ur NCO, respect tetap respect uh masa ncc. swear all you WANT in your heart. ouhs, i think LAST YEAR when i FORGOT that YOU PART As EXISTED, i think you might be CURSING me because i forgot to give u people the BREAK that i gave to my lovely part B. idk. NCC is NCC on its OWN & you'll share your laughter & tears and shed your SWEAT together. WHERE'S THE FUCKING UNITY?!

. viva la liverpool .

2006-02-07T18:56:00.000+08:00

Listening to: All in the Mind - Judge Dread
Mood: Tired
******

this friday, results will be released. so the principal(i think) announced that we could either choose to come to school or not on that day, since there's not going to be a half day. and as JAE applications is on till next wednesday, schools out Till NEXT THURSDAY! good news innit? told my mom 6 days at home wont do me any good, BORED u KNOW!

just now attended physics lecture, skipped PE, break, MT & took pictures then skipped physics tutorial then off to history. otw home i slept. hurr. very tiring liao de.

then took 67 from tamp int as usual and alighted at ITE TAMP. got this ITE TAMP guy got in a bike accident. *OUCH*. his pants TORE siak. like can be kain oreadi. and he was lifting up at groaning in pain whilst his other friends picked up his bike for him. his left leg tore abit, can see the flesh! OMG~ but it wasn't bleeding. but still, OUCH! then crossed the zebra crossing, then few others on bike/scooters whizzing through. then they got down & help the fella. like WHOA. at the bustop like tempat park bike liddat. some in KR some in scooters others in kapchai. but kesian lah, he just got his license. then crossed road, saw farhan, he inside the bus. just waved at him lors.

the mates in MI are like ITE people. certain ahs. its like once you're with them, hancur punya. just not got fight in school. malay lawan indian. sial pey tamale gemok. heh. ape2 ar, dorang peh hidop. yg pompan2 pon BODOH tarak hotak pegi ikot si jantan gadoh. merepeks sia. aku memang tak campur dorang pasal aku tau dorang mmg kes budak da gone nyer ah. aku lang safwanah, ite people are better walaupun drg not as smart. lagi mulia campur dgn bdk ite, tapi kene tengok kawan jugak lahs.

aku harap2 pass. dapat masok innova JC. harap2 sangat. ya allah, luluskan lah hamba mu ini dlm peperiksaannyer. amin. hermsh. haighz.. well the pics...

Dinie nye ezlink

syikin. karl with his ipod. safwanah tgh STRESS

cmon join safwanah in aerobics! daryl.

karl. syikin

my malay classmate w cikgu marni

nvm liverpool lost to the blues. euro champs lost to epl champs ehs. teruks. west ham maken naek siol. agaknye pasal GSH kot? cant wait to borrow the dvd.! n u'll never walk alone! the skins are wit u! ahaks

. new layout .

2006-02-06T18:22:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Beautiful Love - The Afters / My Own Flag - LTJ
Mood: Energetic
******

slept at ard 2 i think. and woke up at 5.15. WHOA~ thats fucken early. 12am the night before, some mats were playing in the train & shrieking & screaming like pretty Girlies.

so yah. had my daily Nescafe & out to school. didn't sleep in the train though. fuck it. the battery died on me & thus had to just endure the ride in the tube. cheh tube ahs. wasn't sleepy siak. and guess what time i reached school? 7.15! surprisingly early seh. managed to eat some epok2 kentang before assembly bell rang. yadda2.

skipped physics only. so 3 periods straight of break whilst dinie, huzaifah, khairul had 3 hours of break. that lebai cracked some jokes & riddles. laughed until my chest pain & start to cry. hee. funny lahs. history, luckily wasn't scolded. cibai, i nv do my work. luckily i copy abit from the textbook. some cold war thing lahs.

oh yahr. during chemistry, the lecturer with the irritating voice & disgusting accent & lingo announced that MATHS LECTURE under 'that-i-don't-know-what's-her-name' is CANCELLED! no Maths Lecture = Dismissal at 2.15 pm! but not really a good thing though, as i didn't know what to do the rest of my time at home. and i feel like rotting now. so took 77 to bukit batok & took train to jrg. east. bounced to Boon Lay then all the way back to Tampines. bought batt so that i have music to my ears! the bois bebeh! SKA SKA SKA. heh.

then at interchange, alamak terserempak that babat. whatever ah. step mat sial. WHATEVER! ask me for 15bucks. NO MONEY LA!

then after that alot of ite people. wash eye for awhile. wait for 67. got botak guy from ite tamp. badan HUIYOH! he alighted same stop as me. but went separate ways. crossed road, got ite tamp guys at kedai mamak. aiseh. HOT SIA. haha.

ok zu. stoppit.. ouhs valentine around the corner and yet i'm alone again. like APE2 lah ehs i dun celebrate valentine and i dont give a damn!

cheers.

. paranoia .

2006-02-05T23:06:00.000+08:00

Listening to: One More for The Bois - Gen 69
Mood: Tired
******

went out with iza to BK for awhile to have our dinner. talked about censored stuffs there. ahahs. ROONEY! then laughed at tamale2. talk cock blabla.

talked/chat with barbs yesterday. haighz. barbs2, ape nak jadi. i thought that he just admired tattoos the way it is, like body art, you see? but well, he's even gotten ~~one~~, TWO on his body. haighz. biar lah dia ehhs. haha

somehow, i got this feeling, that the friendship, the bond we created since secondary One, won't last. i don't know. or do i have myself to blame? myself for not wanting to spare that extra saturday or whatever to interact and get together with them. the only person who only starts an IM with me on MSN is lina. oh that WAK NA. i miss her sulk seh, but sometime like irritating also have uhs.

you might be thinking what got me to think this way. ah, such paranoia perhaps. such tranquility at home is no match to the chaos & laughter we'll have outside. i don't know lah. it just got me wondering. perhaps . . idk. well, SOMEONE said that i preferred my culture mates more than i preferred secondary school/ MI mates. that someone, i shan't disclose his/her name. yah call me a hypocrite or whatever. siapa yang makan cili, dia lah yang terasa pedas. gettit?

idk. i'm not practising favouritism against my mates. like 'ouh you're not into culture i dont wanna talk to you.' NO! i'm obviously not like that. sometimes when i stumble across my friends, my own mates see that i mix with everyone from all walks of life. thankfully no Mats & Minahs tho. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. idk why they respect me though. kinda weird but...

i just want to make it clear that, chances of me going out with other people on a SATURDAY is really slim. unless like i meet you in the afternoon or sumthing and then by 5 i'll be off to city hall and it's fine. then so be it. just why OH WHY must i be prejudiced against something that i'm so not fond of. idk. haighz.

why the heck am i having this paranoia? zu zu. i think i'm like stressed or something. results are so around the corner.

and i'm missing HIM. and THEM. but HIM & HIM. haha dream on zu!

. piseed! .

2006-02-05T00:15:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Kasihnya Laila - Jinbara
Mood: Tired/Pissed
******

school's getting boring like phuck. skipping classes seemed like nothing already. and washing of eyes on the way to school & back home. ahh, all too mundane already.

saturday. a day for you know i know if you somehow mix with me. didnt went out until after maghrib. and i was supposed to be home by 9.30. innit ridiculous?! so at city hall called my mom and asked for extension. 10pm. WTH. ah buat bodoh ahs.

so reached city hall ard 8.30. walked to esplanade alone & met wanie. thought haziq was there as well, but in the end saw yan n tat botak n a skinhead n a babat. k evil. then met that zulraidi. fucken late ah tat cibai. den went to rooftop & slack. after that wanie wanna meet brown, den i just remained with the guys uhs. lazy ahs. i dunno brown oso. yadda2. kekek lar satu2. wanna describe also dunnow how. but too shiok lepak wit them until dowanna go home.

den late oreadi. 10pm. so angkat kaki ..yan all tat also went home together..so the more the merrier..first time aku balek dari city hall dgn byk org. mcm fun and tak lonely gitu. zul wanna go 7-11. he blanja the guys air. wahh, so generous sia si kecik ni. den dunnow who ah go bite2 the straw. until nk sedut pun susah. disgusting sehs. eesz..hahas. but like stress reliever ah they all. den at control station meet bounch. all went home together. kesian zul kene take train sorang2. woodlands mah. yan n his fren turon simei n bounch n i turon tamp ..bounch wanna go RC dunnow do wat lahs dgn bdk2 sana.

it's a fun day today.
but i tink tis is the last time i goin to chill on a saturday nite.
bcoz i broke my promise to my mom
shite.
the sec 3 days are repeating.
NO! i dont want tat to happen again.
very sucky tau.
its like, my sec 4 life very kanasai. now i got freedom already,
but i misuse that trust i got .
arghs.
cibai
like cannot ah. if not, today i try to stay home
but fuckin boring sia
it's like city hall callin me. hahaha. cheys
but today nv meet anyone i know. thank god!
only the ppl i lepak with ahs
i forgot yan's friend name. the other skin..
i rub2 his head. kiakiakia.. nice wat
i pinch2 yan nye pipi. TEMBAM SEHHH. ahas
YAN SO . .. . *yadda2*

oh i miss this night.
(pssttt . . . mana dia??? kata nak sms, tak pon . . . tengah buat project kerr? hee)

. TIRED! .

2006-02-02T21:54:00.000+08:00

Listening to: One more for the Bois - Gen 69
Mood: Sick/Hungry
******

thursday. another PMS day for me. some sick faggot using nail polish, eyeliner & makeup in the train. and the best thing is he cared no hoots about the people ard him who's looking at him. me, standing infront of him, just can't stand the sight siak. yah he literally saw everyone looking at him. felt like telling him YOU'RE SICK! and get out of the train and take another. but i'm surely rushing for time.

and i admit overnight obsessions won't last forever. i repeat, OVERNIGHT OBSESSIONS won't last forever. well, he's just a friend and didnt have any history between me n him b4. unlike astria. . . haha.

and i saw that YEAR 2 guy! haha. i forgot he's in wat class. and safwanah better stoppit with that 04S4 guy siak. haha. she's shrieking every now & then like some mad freak. and claims she's depressed. haha, what the hell?!

i guess this would be just a short entry.
toodles & cheers.

OH WHEN'S GONNA BE THE NEXT OI GIG?!!!

. oh sick .

2006-02-01T19:28:00.000+08:00

Listening to: BFC Hooligans - Secret Army
Mood: Sick
******

~~Monday~~, no, Wednesday Blues. 5 days of waking up late sure has been too much.
woke up at 5.15.
ended up in the toilet at 5.40.
finished bathing at 6.
oh shit!
rushed to MRT station.
reached Clementi ard 7.15.
wait and wait for fucking 173.
reached school when they were taking the pledge. thank GOODNESS.
2 period of maths lecture. boring.
1 period of maths tutorial. SKIP! there were only 14 ppl who attended maths tutorial.
'the teacher like asshole one' , fadhilah said.
nabeh. i tot she decent ..
then break break break.
GP. GAH! wanna fall asleep. got back assignment. got another to be done.
after that physics lecture.
actually wanted to go. but ended up skipping.
why? that gay release us late, summore mai wanted to use the loo.
so late already. decided not to go.
then i showed mai the year 2 guy.
he's not that handsome nor cute la.
INFATUATION!!!
kinda dark. heh.
phuck!
after that HT, went to the hall. some part time diploma talk.
neyy, i ain't interested in business & tourist management n such.
went home.
yadda2.
tampines interchange. saw reeqah. saw yan.
then took bus 31 home.
near macdonalds, saw the cheers guy who looked like iskandar.
gah~
he wear blue color ite polo shirt.
what ite ah tat one?
tampines? or bedok?
hermpsh.
what's my luck man?
i miss iskandar.
wet dreams? hahahaha. dont ask.
ok i dunnow why i'm blogging like this, but i'm fucken tired.
so kinda lazy to blog properly.
i miss *ehem*. no LA not ramadan.
i want to pinch his cheeks.
i tynk i was flirting with him on MSN yesterday.
=D. but he very cute lah.
i nv see him at clementi anymore already.
i hope to see him b4 he finishes. hee
i want to pinch his cheeks.
ok redundant.
do you know?
wait la, havent finish my sentence...
that there are 3 types of people ;
those who can count, and those who can't.
get it?
ok you fucking dumb asshole.

2006-01-30T22:57:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Skinhead Girl - The Bois
Mood: Bored
******

sch sucks. public holiday's such a bore. what on EARTH was i thinking?!

oh dear. i still havent recovered from that overnight obsession. if only HE didn't look into my eyes like that. argh~ can't i can't i can't.

yeah no doubt i envy the couples skanking . . . but....

i miss that night at paradigm!

. skafest zero-6 .

2006-01-29T11:41:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Adelphi Crew - The Bois
Mood: Sick
******

yesterday went to skafest. my first ever i shall say, since i missed the previous ones as i was GROUNDED. kuang3.

skafest was helluva blast. except for some glitches here and there and sally's had to re-play their Lady Marmalade song. i was pissed sia, a little bit only.

so when i came in, SMC was about to play. ape lagi, get skanky. didnt skank with wanie coz she went down with amad, so skank with astria at the back. sap sap sap, skali pat centre. and guess what, ASTRIA FRIGGIN LUCKY COS EVERYWHERE SHE SKANK-ed, _______ was there as well. sorry eyy girl, aku skank violent. kaki naik2. aha. iskandar yg ajar aku ehs. hee..yee yee. =D and u maki me coz paiseh, but aku tau lah, deep inside ko happy. aww. hehe. OH WHAT A NITE!

after SMC, 23 follies, DOS, comic strip, pirates, cesspit den FPM! aaaaahaha. BAIK EH BOUNCH.

skank skank. one part i was fucken pissed by this skin. elbow sengaja uhs. ape lagi la ehs, kick his butt n he went to the front. he turned & looked at me semacam (as said by astria, hiakhiak) den he pushed me. i saw him cabot after the band finished playing. eh aku tak makan orang la sia! after that, iswandy & his MAT friends skank near me. masa sape tah main skapunk ahrs, i skank, kaki da naik ah eys, i KICK iswandy. menyampah ah, i hate what he said to wanie. macam kurang ajar. it's wanie's way of life seh, why must he compare wanie to sum other girls. skank punye skank, drg tak tahan drg blah.

so yeah. met alot alot of ppl there. some whom i dun bother to tegur. azura kesian seh. sampai menangis. my jacket's sleeve until got make up n her eyeliner sia.. hahaks
saw natt.azie.yan.tat MI chinese girl.zul.anep.alfie.hidayu.farhan.RAMADAN =D. aisya.ain. ath.faez.shafiq.ridzwan.FYZA.apit.that kecik. haziq nye kawan. si gila. hilmi. atoi. and few more that i didnt tegur lah.

mandeep gila! dunnow who grind me during cesspit's set. ramadan oso gila! tap tap ppl shoulder, macam aku tk nampak gitu! =) mentang2 dia tinggi . . . FPM main, aku skank sorang2 sak. but it was the time of my life! and i wished it would last forever. HE HUGGED ME! then he skank, i follow suit half heartedly. i was so tired seh. ahh. the warmth when he hugged me. he pulled me out from the centre when i was skanking. ALAH. den hug me again. =) =)he's like the 3rd guy to hug me. aAHHHH. okok. i'm obsessed.

i MISS THAT HUG!

and i nearly lost my digicam. thank goodness it's with ath now.

i MISS THAT HUG!

skafest was a near blast. kicking and stepping on mat's feets. i know i know. they looked at me some kind. SO WHAT! KAKI KO SAKET? I DUN GIVE A DAMN!

and pompan2 yang complain2 kene tolak, diam2 la suda. sape suro masok dalam. bodoh! cheh kerek eh zu.

and
I MISS THAT HUG FROM HIM!!!

. it's our life .

2006-01-27T17:35:00.000+08:00

Listening to: One More for the Bois - Gen69 / The Bois are Back - The Bois
Mood: Lethargic
******

thursday ; a day perfect for slacking & skipping classes. and i don't know whether i should hate history or not. gah~ slept at 1 am the day before, so i had less than 5 hours of sleep. imagine my foul mood yesterday. thank goodness i didnt blow up lah ehs. 2 period of history, 1 period of chemistry, both lectures. then 3 period of break. after that 2 period of GP lecture. skipped GP. alot of ppl skipped GP sial. hmm~

friday ; chinese new year celebrations. dismissal time is at 11am. what a waste of time. so well, along with other people, i skipped school. but i just stayed home. huahua. told my mom i dont want to go to school since it's a waste of time. then ard 1 plus close to 2, went to city hall to get my skafest tix. YAY! it's still available. so yadda2. bought the tix, look at the harrington, $120 bucks. should buy or should not? ok astria knows what i'm going to say, NEEDS VS WANTS! so yah. eat old chang kee and sit down like peminta sedekah. very fun u know! haha. den wanie meet her sister and i went home.

saw isa n asnu. talk2 with them and take the same bus 67 with them. they're going to their workplace at Hajah maimunah. wah seh, asnu kaya seh. he bought fred perry stuffs over at aussie. hate him kia. haha.. nevermind, end of this year i'll go to aussie & search high n low for that fred perry boutiques.

i dun mean it when i said my dad sucks. ok, i purely said it out of anger because he scolded me for coming back from school late. late? it was only 6pm seh. so got shit from him abit, and i replied in a rude way because i was tired n pissed! astria tau ehs. sabar2. eeehe.

skafest. hermps. be home by 9pm. chinese new year is 2 days away! family reunion then family reunion(again) with my mom's side by the beach. we're overnighting there. anyone wants to follow? i bored lah takda kawan. hee

' too many kids , too many trendy wankers
they walk down the streets
you see them everywhere they go, but
we're here to stay
we're here to keep the faith, we'll
take them one by one until they are all gone!' - the bois

. just them and us .

2006-01-24T19:00:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Adelphi Crew - The Bois
Mood: Tired
******

i'm getting sick of ~~people~~ little kids adding me up on msn just because s/he thinks that i'm into skapunk or is a skapunk. or worst, some thought i'm into skinheads or is a rudegirl. WADDA~

ok ast. since you've commented that i only update this blog when i'm out, i shall blog well, about my situation now. hee.

gah~ just little kids trying to seek attention. and that little kid claims himself a skafan, and he's one for only one week! so with the help of my skin mate, we tried to get to know what his motives was. but seemed like it'll be worse if WE help him in this cult stuffs. bottomline, he's in the scene for the trend. and you know what...? that little kid even asked if i'm a skapunk. just told him it was a thing of the past and he said . . .

'wanna be a ska punk must be for pride what... where can gantung anyhow you want?'

ewah. kene sound balek plak dengan budak kecik. that was so about/more than 2 years ago, when he was like, 11 years old! and i was like, 14/15. idk, can't remember.

and another jerk claimed he was a hard mod. errks. not trying to say what lah, but YOU LITTLE KIDS OBVIOUSLY CAME TO THE WRONG PERSON!

eyhs mate; mu gerek ahs! hahaha~ masih budak2 eys. =p

so today. school. just one word; sucks. very fucken tiring. reached home at 6 pm both yesterday and today. cant take it any longer ahs. been sleeping like no one elses business in the train. cursed some man because he tripped over my FOOT when i was sleeping, so i was kinda pissed as my sleep, my only beautiful trip to lala land was disturbed.

and i cant be bothered to update the links on my page. i'm aware that most links are either broken or linked to another page. but i'll need to find the time to adjust the template here and there.

argh~ and the oppressed just split up. and my DAD SUCKS!

guess that's it?
cheers & keep the faith.
to lee & the lads ; viva la punkrock.
to the rudies ; love skavoovie! i miss u people. i hope i can go skafest.
to feeq bounch ; HIAKDISH.
to ASTRIA ; *segasaga WEI* suke ti ko lahs. get well soon anyway

again ; CHEERS!

. again again .

2006-01-22T00:04:00.000+08:00

Listening to: One Step Beyond - Madness
Mood:Tired
******

went to town to get this beg. but the size is too small when compared to the large file that i bring to school.

WANIEEE'. ZUUEE

Happy kids. well almost. in bus number 190, to city hall. weeee

wanie, thinking about *put name here*

dinch know my hair is still brown. oh wadever.

say 'PEACE'

secret agent. (eh tengok tangan badot pat mana)

badot loves taking pictures. =)

fan the bassist is gay. *laughs*

*ehh amek gambar lagi lah* secret agent.

lastly, a decent photo.
btw, secret agent's the opening act for Skafest next saturday. do catch them alrights. get skanky ahs.

frm left: wanie. zu. goggle. badot. amad

zu. goggle. badot. amad. wanie

wit d northern rudies. ahaks

last picture of the day. and back to *home sweet home*

. CUTE-ness! .

2006-01-20T18:24:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Hijau Kuning - Offside
Mood: Happy
******

today. 20 JAN
went to school like normal. went out of house at 6.10. OH SHIZNIT! i really thought i was going to be late. took the 6.15 train, alot of people in the train. had to stand, haighz. miss the train where there's alot of hotties lahs. hahas. reached clementi, took 173 blablabla. and i was EARLY for school today. haha. ACCOMPLISHMENT SEH! so yah. school isn't really boring today. had tutorials all the way. so kinda warm and humid in the classrooms/physics lab 1. then DISMISSED! early day for me.

took 173 back to clementi with mai. went to toilet for a while. ahaks. school toilet pathetic lahs. den went up to take the train. guess what?! I SAW FADH!!!!!! hahahaha. i was like... EHH FAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha. he smiled. yadda2. SO HAPPY!!!!!!! wondering how come he got back from camp so early. will ask him later. HE SO SMART IN HIS UNIFORM SEH!!! *MELTS* i miss fadh! wahh. if everyday like this i friggin happy seh. hahaha. everyday meet fadh. he take train towards jurong east, i oso take train towards jurong east/ boonlay. but alah, never take same cabin. hahaks. OMG OMG.! cute sia he smile. =D he n his (______) both cute gila. =D

then boonlay. bounced back to tampines. SAW MY PASIR RIS MATES! yadda2. talked for a while. accompanied mai to wait for her guy, which is husaini. HAHAKS. wat a small werld. den yadda2. went back, saw iza. waaweewoo. she's a looney yah. den after tat went home. took my Roots N Boots lyrics booklet, passed to bounch. den go back again. my neighbour asked me out to PK with them. i say i dowant lah. i dun PK n i'm tired. but i tried PK-ing before ah. alah, lame thing. but a good thing if you're trying to run from the fucking bois in blue though! *sape sokong angkat pantat*

so. yah. anw, SECRET ARMY is being featured in LIFE! straits times. check it out. i just hope there's no trendies who will want to be in the scene just because _ _ _ _ _(put in your own phrase). because i've had enough of some nerd assholes asking me how to become a skin. like HELLO?! do i even look like a skinbyrd? no i dont. and i'm still friggin doing my learning of you-know-what.

Yesterday; 19 Jan
went to school. met a new mate. Pre-U 2 student. her name is shahidah. she's from 05s1. huiyohh. haha. talked abit with her. then there's this CINONEK, wear baju terbalek. HAHAHA. laugh2 like hell inside the MRT. at dover he sat down in front of me. wah seh. he really wear the baju inside out, then summore back to front. KEKEK-ness sial!!!!! like seriously. if i can roll on the floor laughing, i would have did just that! HAHAHAHAHAHA. then got this TAMALE keep turning aroung and looking and staring at me. he thinks we're talking and laughing our ass of at him. haha! PADAHAL2. hahahaha. but very funny lah yesterday.
blacklisted by discipline master. dont ask. i fucken hate him. BITCH! no guts? FINE AH. we malay kids still have our pride and want to learn in school okay. u bastard just talk on and on and on. SO MONOTONE. bloody fucks! nak ikotkan hati memang da leave the LT. but i'm just a temporary student in MI and i dont want to create trouble. gah. okay bye.

. dressed to kill .

2006-01-18T17:08:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Hate the Trendies - The Bois
Mood: Tired
******

3 people brightened up my day today. thanks mate, thanks kay lass. =)
i'm not bragging here though, but u know, they just make me happy, like very EARLY in the morning.

alone on the way to school, like everyday.
first, feeq smsed like usual. stoppit with the *smiles* sia. not cute!
den i was off to 'Lala Land' in the MRT. was late btw.
den reached dover stop. felt like smsing 'ex BABY BWOII'
iskandar, who else.
'eyks 28 u free tak? erp gd morn btw'
x; entah.
'agak2? tdo ey? sry kacau'
x; takda lah. i otw to werk
'ook. mcm tk suke je'
x; tk lah
'28 try to make it can? plz b'
x; asal?
'skafest'
'pagi2 gini u anta i gie skowla lagi bagos'
x; asal lak b?
'ape asal? tkda la. i borin la, srg2'
x; skool pat ne?
'clementi area'
x; ok. can

hermsh. THAT, really made my day. i dont know why la. i was surprised that he actually REPLIED to my text messages in the EARLY MORNING. not really early, say, 6 plus in the morning. i didnt really intend to put the 'b', but well, taruk only lah. i dunnow if he's moved on or what, but why does he still keep calling me sayang and bie and all those mushy2 stuffs. we're anyting but couples.

siallah. so tired. the 3rd person who made my day is obviously my crazy bestie. =)

skafest. there u go. shoo shoo!

just now. introduction session with HT. i said ' zulaiha frm pasir ris sec. NOT yishun town. loves listening to music and slacking with my mates at one n only city hall.' tat bloody irsyad added 'and i LOVEEE skinheads'. waddaaa~ the teacher looked at me like, erps. OPPS!

ok astria. da update. happy?

. saturday nite .

2006-01-15T12:53:00.000+08:00

Listening to: New Generation - The Bois
Mood: Sleepy
******

yesterday, went to city hall. met up with wanie and proceeded to penin, then met up with izfa and her dharlink. basically just slacked with the rudies. ahaks. wanie asked me to become a rudegirl. wadda~ if i wanted to be a rude, i've been one since 2003/4. haha. astria will know. LOL

so here's the pictures. ehh, and i saw FADH! hahahahahahaha. didnt approached him and say hi. segan + paiseh. walk all the way to him and say, EH FADH! HELLO! den say bye. haha. like merepek right.

at BK. huhu. smilley2 =)

wanie'turtle. HAHAHAHAHA

step malu ler. eh no, promote BK.

badot aka agent DOT.

amaddddddddd

izf'a'piz

group pix. amad muka stoink.
top left: irma.izfa.hafiz.amad
bottom left: me. liza. badot. goggle

again2.
top left:irma. izfa. wanie. amad
bottom left: you know.

izfaa. waniee.

lagi sekalii wooohh.

agent dot stepping raffles. toot toot at the backk. ahaa

izfa amad goggle

macam style gitu kan?

badot emoo?

wanie poop

foursome. weeeee

wanie happie seh.

waniee. izfaa

opps!

. i miss the ex-bwoiifrend .

2006-01-13T16:42:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Cream of the Crops - The Bois
Mood: Pissed
******

pissed off for no fuggin reason. and the phone's kinda stuckup bcoz i cant sms anyone today during lectures. maths was so fucking boring. argh~ hate maths now. i need to polish up my chem and physics. physics was interesting, so was GP. but GP is kinda boring though. normal lessons like tat, but you learn how to write better. aint it good?

but i still admit i do have to polish up on my grammar and vocabulary. it's pretty pathetic having to use simple words over and over again and not knowing any other 'better sounding' words to give your piece of your mind to a friend. being frank is nice, but too frank is a little bit too bitchy for the first 3 months.

so hakim was being a nice new friend to me. he bought for me chicken chop and the rice without even me having to wait for that fuggen long queue. wait, NOT HAKIM PRSS! hahaha. hakim my classmate will never ever be nice to me. sorry mate! but it's a fact.

haishh. i'm extremely blurr plus tired today. saw husaini after school just now. he fetched maisarah. aww, so sweet. if only i had a bwoiifriend, i'll force him to send me to school and fetch me too. but siao la, mana boleh hari2.
so well, it seemed like memories came gushing from the back of my brain and kept me thinking and thinking about him. tears started swelling in my eyes but they wont seem to fall. haish
i dunnow.
iskandar. i miss you.

so yadda2. i wanna shit. tatas.

. we hate the discos .

2006-01-12T18:48:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Last Stand Kids - The Steelies
Mood: Tired
******

*hint hint*. haha
so the journey to school today didnt quite bore me. sms-ed bounch on the way to school. he's also on his way to camp but he reached jurong east station first so, yah.

school.
it's been drizzling and pouring and drizzling and pouring. geez, dear mother nature, are you that odd? or are you having terrible PMS in the early days of 2006? gah~ HT, HIST & CHEM was oh-so-fine. had 2 breaks today, only ate during the first break as i need to save some bucks. i've been well, saving about 15 bucks this week. HURRAY! but then every cents that i saved would go into the cashier's as i'm saving up to buy some stuffs, including skafest tix.
second break, sat with irsyad & hakim & khairul & khairul's friend. siallah, no gal mate kia.
hermsh

so so so friggin tired.
hermsh.

been daydreaming alot today. all about iskandar. haishh. i dunnow. why does the feeling not want to go away.? ergh~ i don't want that incident to repeat. but i want to go skafest with him, together with wanie and perhaps JINA. (jina! nama ko keluar tau. hee) i want to skank with him, skanking in love la katakan. haishh. i want to pogo him, coz he pogo-ed me like babipukimak last time. hermsh.

please go away please. why do i keep remembering you? hardcore infatuation towards EHEM2 is just an infatuation. like is like, love is love. HAH. alah . ape2 lah.

me n him swinging swingle. me n him happy2 kids. but me n him not together. me n him cannot be together. but me like him. but like is like and love is love. like is not love, but what if like turns to love? haish. me miss him so much. ok me should stop ranting about guys. me hate love life. me is a loser in love life. me misses hafiz also. me is such a loner. me is me.

. MI is for ego brats .

2006-01-11T18:50:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Drunken Skinhead - The Prowlers
Mood: Tired
******

i'm getting pissed and more pissed everyday in MI. some EGO bastards.. argh! just can't stand that person sia. this person pretty onot? that person pretty onot? PLEASE LA! REALITY CHECK!!!

go look yourself up that mirror for once can? wahpiang. i want to say it straight to your face also i dont have the guts ah. at least i KNOW how to be sensitive to other's feelings. ok fuck shit if you're straight forward of whatever you call it ah k, but stop calling this or that girl fat can?! because you're FAT also lah eh.

gah. the kind of people you meet~ argh! i'm sick of school. 06S13 ; thank god i have irsyad as my saviour. he's taking history also, FUH, ada kawan. husaini's fren/girlfren (i dunnow) is also in 06S13, but she's taking geog. and there's the TKGS girls. and the TKSS mats. and that Swiss Cottage guy. argh! i can't fit in siak, like seriously. i'm like ALONE 24/7. but i don't really bother. dismissal bell rang, walk out of gate, HOME SWEET HOME. da malas ah eh.

i cant stand this any longerrr! argh! i miss my mates! i miss my lads! i miss my girls! long time since i met them sia. after stasis 8 gig, i felt the spirit, the spirit i once had when i was in secondary 3. but i dont know, should i stay this way or should i just go back and be a fan all over again? better stay this way i guess. even though i've been dissed and insulted, FUCK THE SOCIETY! to hell with what the media say. stereotyping is just their game, do they tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth? HECK NO MAN!

perhaps i'm getting way overboard. hey ASTRIA, i love your entries marn. haha. make me laugh and forget that i'm daing tired from school. huhuhuhu. future comedian ehks. =p

i'm currently chatting with him. HUHUHUHUHU. shoooo happy. talk2 crap with him. haha. we both swinngggingg single. but cannot same2 geng, coz he bwoii i gerl. hee. siao la heeeee. and i made a new fren today. not from MI laa. enough of MI sia..

i'm like soooo lazy to complete my tutorial assignments. daing. fuck ah.

GP is sooo boring.
physics are soo DRY
chemistry is sooo confusing.
maths are soo ; gah!
doing sets all over again. siallah, bila nak game siak
hermsh
k la
tired marn
tata

. i MISS that person .

2006-01-10T17:47:00.000+08:00

Listening to: 44 Caliber Love Letter - Alexisonfire
Mood: Tired
******

so this year's Aidiladha was way much different than the ones i had over the last 16 years. the previous aidiladha-s, we only stayed home, and didnt make any visits to the grandparents houses. so this year, woke up a tad bit lil early, got dressed and made our way to Sengkang. so anyway, yadda2. my cousins from malaysia is also here.. yahoooo. mishh them so muchies. amiee mafia! he had this ska patch on his bag and i was like, SKA KAPE! and he was like, diam2 lah ko, sebok aje. den i showed him the ska pic that i uploaded onto my phone, den he was like, AIK KO PON TAU PASAL NI BENDE? haahaha. understand understood eh. he mafiaaaa! nabeh nabeh.

so yah. my cousin envied me because i have the N6111 phone. heh, ehh i didnt know that was the latest model okehh! dun blame me. hermmshh.

my arms are aching like ERGh!

omg~ i miss him so much. NOTE: HIM is HIM. HIM is NOT ISKANDAR! neither is HIM that cashier. just HIM.

gosh oh gosh. should i go to skafest? but i want to get a new fred perry tee and a new pair of shoes, that can also double up as school shoes for me at MI. and i want a new school bag, oh wait, i NEED a new school bag. so want VS need; which of these stuffs should i get?

skafest tix. MUST
shoe?
fred perry tee?
school bag. MUST
omg! and i want that 3/4 jacket. siallah . ZU NO MONEY.
i still need to get back my jacket that my cousin borrowed from me. hermsh
gosh. i'm so freaking bored.
i miss HIM. i miss WAN also. myspace is down, BITCH! arghhh

oh anw. congrats to WANIE & WAWA. hehe. the WA&WA couple. now only zu is single mingle twinkle2 little star. sad zu sad zu. i want to be with HIM can? please please? heh. haishh